this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2024
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"I'm an introvert and you're an extrovert" is frankly an awful way to frame this dynamic. Besides being a binary descriptor that has little basis in reality, OP's boss acting way out of line has nothing to do with their being an extrovert
It's more about framing the conversation in a way that helps OP's supervisor realize they're at odds with each other, socially, and that the supervisor needs to make changes, not OP. I know it's a bit blunt and direct and may not exactly describe their relationship, but I've found that being direct and binary with extroverted people generally gets them to the point faster, rather than beating around the bush with complex descriptions of their dynamic.
And the supervisor being an extrovert is definitely a part of the problem in this case. They're ignoring signals from OP that they don't want to be social, shaming them for it, and forcing public interactions in order to change them. This is classic extrovert behavior which is making OP uncomfortable.
The topic of discussion is definitely off-limits and deserves a conversation with HR, but the supervisor still needs to understand that OP's antisocial behavior isn't a problem. Otherwise, the discussion will change to be more work-appropriate, but the behavior will remain.