this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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From: [email protected]
Subject: [ACTION REQUIRED] Work Policy Violation
Dear Wayge Slavei,
Your working performance has been reviewed, and you have been found to be in violation of Bigcorpo workplace policies. As per your contract, you are required to take a 30-minute break for lunch and entitled two additional 15-minute breaks to use at your discretion.
As identified to our policy review process, you have multiple periods of inactivity throughout the work week, including:
These periods of unsanctioned inactivity are against corporate policy, and you will be required to attend mandatory training, which will take place virtually on Wednesdays, after the company-wide weekly All-Hands Project Alignment meetings from 2 to 3. Continued violations will result in your termination.
Thank you,
Douche Nozzle
My boss didn't need Recall to do that to me a decade ago. He called me out for going offline in our messenger app for an hour after lunch while I was helping another tech sort an emergency for a client from their machine.
I told him that's fine, I'll just let everyone know that I won't be assisting and will show them that email every time anyone asks. He backed off, but not everyone is going to get that lucky to have a complete moron who is going to put dumb shit threats in writing without running it by anyone in legal, HR, or their own boss.