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Are you obligate to financial support your relative who is not financial stable with your saving ? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I live with my parents (both). I have job.
I did my share duty: I help pay family electricity/water bill, pay my brothers tution fee.
Currently, my salary is multiple time my living cost, so I can save more than half of my salary (no pay rent, no marry, no children)
My mum has a brotehr who is not financial stable. She help him (few time yearly, not one time, but yearly). She is very stress about this situation. => when she ask me and my dad to chip in, we both said nope, then ask her to give up on that money black hole. => really hurt our family relationship, because she refuse to do so.
That dude (my uncle) have family he has to support. If I chip in with my own salary, his children living standard will increase, they will have better future. It will cost me my spare salary (i will not able save like, 50% of my salary per month)
But I don't want to waste money. That money give away is like charity that I can never get back. I don't want to piggy back few dude on my back for years.

So, how do you think on this case.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

This is entirely up to you and your internal set of ethics and obligation.

You didn't mention if your Uncle is irresponsible or wasteful with money. For myself I think this would be the key to my sense of obligation.

If your Uncle is frugal and very careful with money, but needs more for basic quality of life for your nieces and nephews, then I would think its appropriate and fine to help out to some % of your disposable income, maybe 3% or 5%. Think of it like family based charity.

On the other hand if your Uncle is wasting money extravagantly, then there is no point in helping, because it will be - at best - wasted, and encourages the Uncle to continue wasting as much money as possible to always be in need to maximize the donations.

But this is entirely up to you, if you don't want to pitch in, you don't have to! However, it does set the tone for family expectations if you need help in the future.