tl;dr I need to make a programming portfolio but I'm struggling with justifying it to my brain
Hey, so... there's a thing that's been bothering me for a long time. I've never been able to "fit in" at most jobs. I don't really have "a thing I'd enjoy working in" which, in my case, is a problem because I just can't give up more than a half of my time to something I don't care about, it really messes with my brain and I can't stay in that situation for long.
Programming caught my attention because it relies on stuff I'm quite good at. Solving problems, some creativity, more detailed work too. I have a few online courses done so I'm not totally clueless etc. I have an idea of how searching for a job looks now and other basics.
Now, for the main course: I'm trying so hard to find a field to stay in but for some reason it's weirdly difficult. I think it's because I'm not sure what this or that position really looks in day to day life. I was interested in C# and backend the most but I'm not sure anymore. Is it only working on web pages all day long? I can see it's usually commerce and I don't like that too much. I'm open to other languages too, that's not a problem.
On top of that everyone says "do a portfolio" and they're right because that's probably the only way to showcase the skills a person has but that's where things start to get tricky. My mind just refuses to do a project for the sake of doing it, straight up "nope" and it just doesn't want to cooperate. I tried to look into open source projects to help someone else but they're too advanced, I'm in that weird void between courses and real life applications. I tried to ask people in beginner groups if they'd like to make something together but no one answered, nobody I know needs an app for anything too so it's no use.
I think it's more neurodivergency related thing than strictly tech. Trouble with decision making, motivation, many people don't understand that.
My reasoning behind all this is that if I find a project that's needed by other people, I'd be able to complete it. I haven't found anyone with a similar issue yet though.
I've never been diagnosed with anything, but I strongly suspect I've got ADHD, so perhaps at least a similar head space as where you're coming from. My main drives have often been solving problems, troubleshooting, creativity, variability from day.
There are options for programming that aren't web pages. If you find a company that makes a software application rather than a website or a web service, there would be easier to find options there. Several things in private sector as well as in government if you're close enough to a government site for that to be an option.
How are you with hardware? You could do stuff a bit closer to hardware potentially, like firmware development. Also an option could be QA for a company that makes hardware. I spent almost 7 years in "Operations" at a company that made hardware and software. I helped write functional tests that tested new hardware as it came off the assembly line, I inspected returned hardware to identify the failure (or if it was user error). I was a little linux sysadmin and managed my own VLAN off the main corporate network. The task needed had TONS of variability, and lots of problem solving, which very much helped me last as long in that job as I did. I can do hyperfocus on things I enjoy, but stuff I don't enjoy is incredibly difficult to even get started in. Doing the "same thing" day after day gets old and becomes difficult. But if I'm doing one thing half of one day and then switching after lunch to something else, then spending a couple days fiddling with a functional test, then finish off the week by troubleshooting returned equipment. That kept me occupied and engaged for years! I don't know that I would do as well in pure QA, but a smaller company where it required wearing multiple "hats" in just the one position offered the variability that kept me engaged.
I finally left there for better pay doing embedded firmware development for a primarily hardware company in the IT space. I enjoyed that a lot, but they didn't quite come up to the amount I asked for, and had to leave to better support my family. So now I'm doing a bit of government contracting type stuff. But I wouldn't have been able to get this particular position without all the prior software experience I had. They're currently open for people with less experience now though, so it would be an easier time to get on board at many places.
So you could also consider things that have the ability to be programmer adjacent. They have programming bits, but it might not be the sole focus of the position. IT, Sysadmin, Tech Support, QA, Engineering, just to name a few potential options.
I can do short bursts of web backend stuff, but web service and DB stuff just wears me out faster than almost anything else I've tried so far. I've never made a "portfolio" myself, but I also have been avoiding the web sector of programming, which is where that seems more beneficial. So it might just be that you need to shift directions out of web services and web sites for a bit to see if you have any better luck?
Hopefully this helps a bit with ideas at least!
I've been in QA for 12 years, and it can be great if you want to innovate (test automation) while also sometimes doing manual work (manual test) to punctuate hard thinking sessions.
I'm not diagnosed as neurodivergent(and strongly suspect I may have ADHD) but do I have a lot of ND coworkers in dev and QA.
This really comes down to choosing for what your ND needs. Spend some time getting to know your brain and it's particular needs. Identify what you want vs what you need.
Good luck on finding your way
Good point. So far i figured out that I need some predictability but with a heavy dose of new knowledge. Maybe not every single day but once or twice a week at least. I like optimising, sorting things but enjoy doing creative things too. As you can see, I don't have a super strong preference, maybe other than working with a smaller team. AFAIK most "tech oriented" jobs in IT cover that so there's a lot to choose from, and that may be a drawback sometimes.
Unfortunately, many of us have to jump into a given role and learn the hard way whether it fits us. As an example, I never intended to go into SQA, I just fell into the role. Turns out I love it.
Stumbling into your career is inelegant, imprecise, and frustrating though.
In spite of that sometimes experience is the best teacher whether we like it or not. Good luck out there
@Cipher @Krzak
I'm glad it worked out for you.
I actually studied for Computer Engineering geared toward embedded electronic design... never got a role in it beyond a one year internship down the street from campus.
After I graduated, recruiters just saw "computer" in my degree and assumed that I could do anything with computers... I knew bits and pieces of C++ coding, and picked up some things fast... but as time went on... I struggled more and more with anything involving software development and knew that it wasn't for me. I tried taking online courses to get back into roles related to my studies... I did well on assessments, but struggled with interviews... while also dealing with recruiters who assumed that I had always been in the role I was trying to get into... the last time I ever entertained anything within tech was past year when I received the news that I was only qualified for an internship which I would have to compete with students while I have been out of school for 14 years... I realized that I needed to change my career path.
I have admitted on many occasions that I prefer to be hands-on with my work... but last year I also admitted that I like working with my hands and not data. I stumbled into a hobby that I might consider for work... some people think that I should even sell such items... I am willing to give it a try when I am both comfortable enough with my skills and am in a position to actually do it.