We've transitioned our 1yo out of our bed and to their own cot. We had to co-sleep after they puked on their old cot and refused to sleep at all once it was cleaned. Every time we've gotten them used to the cot something messes it up like travelling etc. but it's finally looking like something stable.
I was amazed the other night because it was the first time ever we didn't need to hold a hand or pat them to sleep, I could just lay them down in bed and watched them drift off.
The sleep is a little better but still not sleeping through the night and also constantly sick from daycare so they keep waking up cause of the coughing. When they were with us it was a lot easier to put the pacifier back in and go back to sleep but now we have to get out of bed to send them back to sleep.
Then there's also the night feeds... we're still doing a 10:30pm bottle and another bottle anywhere from 3am to 7am, it all depends on how much they ate during the day. Which they've now decided they don't like any of the food we make even though it's exactly the same stuff that would be at daycare. Which then prolongs the cycle of not eating enough and needing night feeds and then not eating much because there was milk overnight. I feel like we have to cut the night feeds somehow but it feels really cruel to starve them when they're used to it...
I just hope getting them to their own bed will be a positive turning point and we'll actually be sleeping through the night soon. I know other people have it worse but everyone I talk to directly has babies that sleep from 8pm to 8am with no stirring and no bottle, it's making me feel like I'm messing something up. Overall still feels like we're taking positive steps though.
Thanks for reading the rant.
We experienced many of the same things you mentioned and ended up fully embracing co-sleeping.
When our son was 2 and a bit he was ready to be in a toddler bed beside our bed. This happened more or less naturally with a bit of encouragement. It was around this time that he started "sleeping through the night".
We recently had another baby and our eldest (almost 3 at the time) decided for himself that he was ready to sleep alone in his own room.
This process took a lot longer than some of the other people I've spoken with. However we're okay with it because we never had to do any sort of sleep training, our son feels secure & has a healthy attachment with us, and in retrospect this whole process was shorter than it really seemed at the time.
So I guess what I'm saying is, try not to compare your situation to others—every child is so different. Do what you have to do to support your child and yourselves. And finally, this will pass more quickly than you think—you may even think fondly of these times later.
Good luck!