We've got these... birds, okay? Beautiful birds that are made right here in America---that's local industry, folks---and people have been just been saying the meanest and nastiest things about them for the longest time, and it's not fair; it's not fair. It's got to stop. Rats with wings? Well you know what? Rats are friends! I've got three big league rats who I love very much and adore every day! That's one rat for each of my big sons... beautiful creatures! All they want to do is nibble and snuggle and go like this *mimes eating corn-on-the-cob* and it's tremendous; it's unbelievable---there's nothing like em. We love our tiny critters.
They say Mike Tyson owned pigeons. Mike Tyson. BIG GUY! Most people don't think big guy like little thing, but guess what? He loved those little birds, folks, believe me. One day, friend of Mike's Tyson shows up at his house in New York---beautiful city---and said some very mean and nasty things about his pigeons and Mike Tyson just knocked him out cold right there---true story---and that's when he found out he champion's fists. Ya know, Mike has his own problems but I think deep down he just wants to protect the little guy. We love standing up to protect the vulnerable, don't we folks?
The outdoor cats? They're done for, folks. These menacing creatures have been coming into neighborhoods and attacking our communities of feather for a long time and nobody is doing a thing about it. When cat owners let out their pets, they're not letting out their best. They're sending cats that have LOTS of problems and they're bringing these problems to US. They're bringing worms; they're bringing fleas; they're murderers. And some, I assume, are good kitties. What are we going to do? *cups hand to ear* That's right, we're gonna build a wall to keep these cats inside, and we're gonna make the cat owners pay for it.
When I learned that white release doves , the symbol of purity and freedom, were nothing more than white pigeons I thought "man, that's some racist bullshit!"