Asklemmy

43802 readers

752 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
[email protected]: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

I'm going to a dance party for the first time. I'm scared of becoming a fly on the wall. What can/should I do if this happens? Edit: It was a ton of fun. Thank you all for submitting your thoughts (lemm.ee)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

24 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Are there some practical things you can do at that point? Or is that the cue you should just leave?

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Remember that a dance party is a party - most people are there to have fun. I think the main thing to avoid, if you can manage it, is being so caught up inside your own head that you aren't looking at the people around you. Keep your back straight, your head high, your eyes off the floor. Basically, avoid the posture of a shrinking violet and you'll feel less like one. Even if you don't feel confident, maintaining a pose that looks confident will keep some of your fear away, and it will passively invite others to interact with you, which boosts your confidence a little more with each person you talk to.

Even if you spend the entire party standing around and watching other people dance, as long as you are actually watching the event, and mentally present for what's going on, you will gain something from the experience. Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance. Neither choice is wrong, but you have to live with what happens - or doesn't - based on what you choose.

All that said, you can do this! We believe in you!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your advice! The dance party was a ton of fun and I danced with lots of different people!

Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance.

This one in particular really stuck with me. And I was surprised how much truth there was to this line ^^

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

That's wonderful, I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself! And I'm glad I was able to help :)