this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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listen, dog kibble is like, scientifically engineered and shit to give them a balanced diet full of all the nutrients every dog needs completely
if there were people kibble just like that i'd probably eat it too
and not just because i find puppygirls enthralling >////>;
Bachelor Chow. Now with flavor!
My recipe for bachelor chow:
Cube and pan-fry the spam, then dump it in a bowl with the other ingredients
Needs less salt and way more veggies.
It's a sometimes food
will this have the full nutritional profile my puppygirl needs
Flavor?! Whoa now let's not get carried away XD
Actually if anything they could upcharge for "flavor mods" designed to compliment the kibble...
(They're literally just like the powdered flavoring that comes with ramen though :p)
I dream with a human kibble too. The closest things I've found is Soylent and it's competitors.
I actually have quite enjoyed Soylent!
...
However, it's designed for people with normal metabolisms and digestive systems.
My metabolism is giga fucked forever and I've basically already consumed an entire lifetime's worth of carbohydrates. So carbs make me sick. Joint pain, inflammation, swelling in the extremities of my limbs, fatigue, trouble sleeping... I know it's carbs because these symptoms stop when I stop eating carbohydrates.
They're just really gods damned hard to avoid.
Sorry to hear that! But yeah, I enjoy it too. It took a couple of tries to get used to the soy flavor, but after that, it's great! If I'm too depressed or lazy to feed myself I can just make a glass of sweet vanilla-dlavored dystopian slop and that's it. It's great mixed with fruit and yogurt too.
Maybe i'm just not familiar enough with soy to identify it specifically but to me the stuff always tasted like ... I mean I guess kinda like the milk left after you finish a bowl of cereal except extra rich, with the consistency of a milk shake that melted. But it was definitely tasty though. When I was drinking it, at the time, I looked forward to it. Actually hit the spot. It was like my body could actually taste the vitamins it was fortified with, in a good way. It was the flavor of "I was missing something but I found it right here."
I think i'd like to look into if there are ketogenic versions. As much as I like Soylent, it'd have to be only on my cheat days, and my cheat days are reserved for more memorable experiences. A zero-carb nutritional baseline I can rely on would just be nice, y'know?
I make my own. Pasta and rice, some veggies, maybe a bit of protein thrown in. I like it because I can just shovel it into my mouth instead of having to cut or eat it in small bites.
Oh yeah! I've heard there is a really bigg DIY human kibble community too. But if u can barely feel myself, I'n definitely not functional enough to DIY it xD
I've been happy with Huels hot and savory pastas, the quinoa ones aren't as good in my opinion without doctoring them up with some extras. It takes a few tries to nail down how to scoop the proper amounts of powder and pasta from the bag, and then the amount of water to use, but once I did that, it's about as good as leftovers from a restaurant.
Pretty sure kibble is shit for their kidneys. Dry food isn't perfect for them obviously. For cats for instance a lot of cat food contains grains, which they shouldn't ever eat. Only the shittiest brands like Whiskas do that though.
It's designed to constipate them as well. You don't want your dog shitting 8 times a day.
Yup. The only dry food that is fine is 100% freeze dried meat / fish, but only as a treat, so again their kidneys don't take a huge hit. Cats usually don't like drinking water itself (they take in water from their killed prey usually) and feeding them anything dry makes them even more susceptible to kidney problems.
what if i just feed my cats soup
Well, obviously they need something of actual substance. But cat soups exist and are actually recommended like 3 times a week or so. I keep adding water to his foodbowl and he eats it up and drinks all the water usually, which is kind of like giving them a soup with meat chunks in it. He also has a seperate bowl for straight up water. One additional benefit from dunking it all in water, is it lasts longer, since wetfood tends to dry out really quickly.
Eh. Dog kibble is engineered to benefit the human. They should be eating a variety of fresh foods. Majority meat, organ, and a calcium source with some fresh vegetables thrown in for vitamins. Kibble is human laziness, capitalist “innovation,” and sacrificing our supposed beloved pets for our own convenience and to save money.