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"Embrace your weirdness. It's okay to stand out." (hexbear.net)

submitted 5 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

NSFW 14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

[CW: Internalized Hate]

Something I'm being told even though I literally receive hate on a daily basis for said "weirdness."

Just when I thought I was learning to accept myself for all the things I have a long past of hating myself over (gender, sexuality, race, and neurodivergence), it just really hasn't gotten to that point where I can truly embrace this. I'm afraid that the one life I was given was as an autistic, black, pansexual enby, and there's nothing I can do about that.

I will never be normal, and no, that's not okay. I don't believe I will truly ever be able to be content like this. I'm far too different from the norm for life to be compatible for someone like me. I feel like I'm not actually meant to exist. I feel like I'm an experiment where I'm intended to be everything that a human being is not supposed to be.

As long as I will continue being this way (and, unfortunately, I will), there's gonna be a reason to question how much comfort I can find in life, and when it hits me that the world will never be for people like me, I question how I can make my life work.

I'm forever to be disgusting, filthy, broken, freakish, incompetent, abnormal, inferior, and a detriment to society's own comfort, and that's just in my nature, so no, I don't think I can make my life work.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Even if that were true, which is a super massive if: you're a good poster and a comrade so that would AT LEAST balance it out. If you call it a wash you're still braver than every troop. You're not a cop or a landlord. Your takes aren't cringe (except the one about being disgusting, etc). So you got something special going on there.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 5 months ago

It most certainly is more special than the approval of bigots. If there's anything good being this way offered me, it's the ability to have a based outlook of opposing oppression, since I experienced so much of it firsthand.