this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
54 points (83.8% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26707 readers
1405 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics.


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected]. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

How much time have you spent being single?

If you're currently single: is it by choice or circumstance?

Do you / did you enjoy single life?

What are / were the pros and cons?

Is / was partnership a goal of yours?

If you're currently not single: Did your goals change after getting into a relationship?

What are the pros and cons?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago (4 children)

About two weeks now, she broke it off cause I fucked up, I know I did.

a few months ago we had sex, it had been building and it was nice, but about a week or two after she said she didn't want anymore till marriage for religious reasons, which I understood as we both come from Christian backgrounds.

The problem came from my sexual frustration affecting my actions, I tried respecting her boundary but as we would cuddle a lot, I would get aroused and then frustrated with myself.

Two weeks prior to our breakup, I asked if she would let me relieve myself as I tried this the last time we hung out and was much more relaxed, but I didn't want to force her out of the room to do so

So I asked if she wanted to stay, she first said yes, which I knew was a lie, and I asked her again at which she said no and left the room

She came back a few minutes later and asked to go home, which I took her home feeling awful cause I knew I made her uncomfortable.

Other frustrations with family and financial that I didn't deal with caused me to act irrationally (generally just irritated) the subsequent weeks, she then broke it off and it took me awhile to realize all of what I had done, I knew I messed up that day, but that wasn't the only thing.

I should've changed my mindset and made her boundary my boundary, and reached out and talked about what was frustrating me instead of dancing around it, I feel awful and want to try and fix it, I miss her family deeply and all I want to do is have dinner with them, sit on the couch and watch a stupid movie.

I'm trying to do other things that make me happy but I'm finding it tough, tried working out but I lose energy quickly, games are feeling dull, my friends that I can still hangout with aren't available right now and won't be for months. I'm having trouble finding a job, and I'm considering joining the military, but I'm just tired, so so tired.

People say that it gets better with time, but I just feel like it's getting worse. Maybe it gets worse before it gets better but idk. She was my first relationship, but we've known each other for a long time, and I've known her family for just as long, and it feels like a lot of things I love are just gone now.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Don't join the military if you weren't already considering it before the breakup.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I was considering it before we dated, but with my financial problems and job troubles this break up brought it to my mind again

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Just recognize that you're in a difficult situation right now, and don't let the short-term impact your long-term.

load more comments (1 replies)