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[–] 139 points 2 years ago (1 child)

"So there I was, watching Fox News on one TV, NewsMax on another, dick in hand of course - I'm an alpha you see. And I see this dude trying to steal my freedoms. I ran after him, and I heard him say something woke. It was either "Sorry - wrong house" or "I want to rape your wife and abort the baby". I couldn't tell which. Of course I had my blue steel beauty in the hand I wasnt using to rub one out - so I started blasting...."

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