I hope you all are having a good day. I would like to start by saying that I'm the "can't take compliments" guy who posted a while back about how he "can't take compliments". I've been thinking about something for a while. That being the situation in the title.
Now, there is a girl that I really like. Let's call her Cass. Cass and I are very similar. We both share similar interests. Reading books, discussions about philosophy etc. But we are also similar character wise. What I mean by that is that we both like to make jokes and are great at it too, etc. etc.
I am comfortable around girls. No issues with that. But I've been just really, really, shy around her. To the point where I straight up leave the room if I see her. For a person such as myself, this is a pretty odd behavior. Because I give zero crap about what other people think of me.
So instead of endlessly questioning myself, I decided to use this as an opportunity to think.
Why do we humans do this? Cass is perfectly capable of getting along and understanding me. So why am I nervous around her? Is it because I sub-conciously put Cass on a pedestal? Even though it's kind of illogical considering she's a very pick-me girl with mental issues? (For clarification, I did not mean these parts of her character when I said that we were similar. But who's to say I'm perfect?)
This has been bugging for a while. Low self-esteem? I have plenty of it. Fear of being judged? Might be if I really am putting her on a pedestal.
So... what's your opinion? I might make a post about her situation one day. Because she's certainly an interesting person. It's interesting how depression can destroy someone.
I think you already gave yourself the answer in your own case:
This applies to people that aren't in your inner circle. You want HER to be in that circle and suddenly it actually does matter what SHE thinks of you. You have little to lose with people you don't really care about, but everything to lose with people you do care about. It's an evil social twist that makes everything so complicated. High self-esteem is just the ability to quickly pull yourself up when you fall and the knowledge that you actually CAN do so. It mitigates the risks of "putting yourself out there".