me_irl

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me_irl (lemmy.world)

submitted 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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(original art by Herta Burbe)

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[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (3 children)

A lot of people don't realize relationships take work.

It's two people who click and both compromise.

When things get difficult you shouldn't stew in it. Don't cheat or rebel. Open your fucking mouth and talk to your partner!

Be open and honest with each other.
Be open to compromise (this means to meet each other halfway. Not cave in or only your way).

Only after talking things out should you both decide to make a major change like moving on (or even an open relationship).

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

both compromise

I think online dating is absolutely killing that part. When you have an "unlimited" buffet table in front of you why would you ever think you need to compromise at all?

It's one of the 2537251728 reasons I loath what online dating has become... You aren't searching for someone you're swiping for someone and there's always that next swipe that could be "the perfect one" so you pass up the people who have one or two minor insignificant things, hoping the next swipe will be 100% of what you want.

I've been ignored by people I could swear were my identical twin as far as personality and compatibility and I haven't the slightest idea why other than a bad picture on my end or something, hell maybe my initial message didn't read like it was written by Hemingway, I'll never know. All I know is I've read conversations about why people pass and some of the shit is absolutely insane...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

I think that’s more of a problem with hookup apps. When one side of the party is just there to get laid, it doesn’t matter what the other party wants in most cases, the “relationship” is never going to take off.

Dating apps tend to be more focused on “who could you see yourself spending your life with”, which is pretty similar to how IRL dating used to be. Most people likely aren’t searching for perfect.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

The first two sentences stung. That's exactly what I feel is true, but the girl I love dearly dumped me to look for her soul mate. Her exact words were "I like you, but it's too much for me at the moment". Fuck life :(

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago

I got "you're the kind of guy I'd want to marry but I want to see who else is out there."

Same situation, I loved her to death. I really don't get some people... If you're so happy with someone that you'd want to marry them then who cares who else is out there?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

my head canon is that relationships are just friendships with extra steps.

It's literally no different.