(original art by Herta Burbe)
this post was submitted on 15 Apr 2024
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me_irl
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The people on the couch don't exist. It's an unrealistic expectation nobody actually has.
Edit: the unrealistic part is that they have so few corners to fit and they fit perfectly. It's more complicated than that.
I don't think that's entirely true, but even if it is, they could be accurately interpreted as one's expectation of oneself.
Not a healthy expectation, but a real one.
I don't quite agree. Yes, it's not as pronounced as it is displayed here, but there's still definitely a difference in statistical compatibility amount. If you have a very unusual life situation, with a non-neurotypical mental structure, the amount of compatible partners gets smaller and smaller compared to people that have a more "common" (specifically not using the word normal here) setup going.
LGBTQ+ and non standard life situation gets ya basically zero partners, too. The dating pool for MLM is already tiny compared to cishet dating. Add into that being a caregiver for your parents and it's basically zero dudes that are willing to even consider you as a partner. :/ But I ain't throwing mama under the bus (or from the train) for no dick. Lol
While I have argued tor this comic being true/realistic, I vehemently reject a possible conclusion of dating pessimism based on it. I wholeheartedly believe that it's worthwhile to try to find compatible people in any situation and no matter what kind of person you are.
I think being gay and being a caregiver for your parents is a combination that doesn't reduce your dating pool too much :)
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting any incel shit or anything. I just mean outside of major cities, MLM dating pools are tiny. It is reasonably possibly in many areas to personally know every single out queer person on a first name basis. So a much smaller dating pool than that of cishet daters.
The caregiving aspect of it also complicates things. I don't mean "I'm a caregiver so no one loves me!" Or anything like that. It's more "I'm a caregiver, and it's unreasonable to expect others to work or even be able to work around my schedule." I can't leave the house for more than two hours at a time, I can't have someone stay over, and I can't stay over at theirs. Dates are limited to activities that can be done within an hour within half an hours drive, and I have to vet their non-covidness beforehand. My life just isn't conducive to dating/romance.
I just wanna clarify, no incel shit. Just "life is complicated" shit. Lol. We all must sacrifice certain things for others, and I willingly sacrifice that aspect for time with my parents. I love them and wouldn't trade that time for anything else. I'm happy with my choices.
I do, however, have a mostly thriving hookup life. Lol. Gay community comes through for me there. Lmao
I thought that was the point. Looking at other people and thinking "it looks so simple so why can't I..."
There is nothing in the art that provides evidence for the interpretation of the “simple” couple being in his imagination. For all we know, that is how they exist in their true form.
But I suppose the point of artwork like this is to get us to talk about it and discuss various interpretations, so who am I to suggest only one way of viewing it.
It is impossible to find a perfect match, but it's also possible that couples can grow closer and around each other.
Maybe not that phrasing, but there is the phrase, “You’ll find someone”. There’s the belief that there’s somebody for everybody out there, parents eventually seem to want their kids to find someone and make grandkids. I mean, given that there’s billions of us on the planet, there’s bound to be somebody compatible out there, maybe not in your zip code or country, but they’re out there.