Dad for a Minute

For context, I'm mtf trans and polyamorous. I spent an enormous amount of effort setting up my social and partner circles to prepare for lower surgery (which I had about 10 months ago and I've healed well!). I knew I was going to be emotionally and physically vulnerable after surgery and wanted to have people around me I could trust especially with my new bits. The 6 months leading up to surgery 4 long term partners broke up with me, a new partner (more on them later) broke up with me, my 12 year marriage fell through, and I lost all but one friend who is long distance.

I'm taking the opportunity to leave country since it's not like I have much anchoring me here anymore. I have conditionally been accepted to a college in Sweden but I'm going to be cutting it close enough with finances that I may get denied a residents permit.

A year ago I finally felt like I was putting down roots I felt happy and I wanted to build my life with everyone I loved. It all went away and I don't know how to process the loss. Everyone I cared about said they didn't want to be around me anymore. I trusted them all so deeply. I feel broken and like a failure constantly.

The new partner I had I fell in love with so hard. Our leases and year plans kinda lined up so we decided to do a classic queer trope and get an apartment together despite being exes. It's had difficult times but largely it has worked well. They're actually one of the best roommates I've ever had. But in a few months here I'll be moving again and things are messy.

Roommate is bringing a new partner by in a few days and I'm getting flooded by everything I've been trying to keep boxed up. I care about them so much, I'm still wildly attracted to them, they're the kindest person I know. I've been working hard to limit bringing this up because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable in their home. The reality is though they're the only person left I emotionally trust and I would do near anything to even be held by them for a few minutes.

I feel abandoned and alone, I don't know if I'm going to be able to emotionally handle being in another country. I wanted surgery to be freeing for me and while it has been in a lot of ways I'm also top tier scared to physically interface with anyone now. I worked so hard to have people I trusted my body with. I'm scared of if something is wrong or if someone says something that fires off my anxiety or depression and I won't be able to talk with them about it. At the same time I'm doing really poorly not having physical touch with anyone and I'm staring down potential years of not finding a partner while trying to study and relearning cultural norms abroad.

Dads how am I supposed to pick myself back up from this loss and fear? How do I handle going from starting to have roots and a stable domestic life to leaving the country and going back to school? And most critically what am I supposed to do with my cat while I move to a tiny unit in another country?

Hi everyone. I created this community here on Lemmy because I wish to give others what I have never felt: the love and the support of a father.

My father is alive and well, but I've always felt like he was dead. I've never received support, love, or hugs but I instead received disapproval, criticisms, insults and high expectations from him. I remember telling kids in elementary school I had no dad.

I am at an age where this should not affect me. I am an adult with his own life but I am unable to feel indifferent to it. His words (or the lack thereof) still affect me. I want him to be proud of me, at least once in my lifetime, and whenever I try to say something that I think will make him proud, I always leave disappointed telling myself "never try again".

My mother was emotionally unavailable too as she has a schizophrenia diagnosis. I don't know what I am looking for by writing this post, maybe just some nice words.

I still wish to be someone's cherished son. Thank you for reading.

Daddy a professional in another agency made a shit decision on one of my cases that put children at massive risk. It's awful but the damage is done.

I've done loads to undo the damage and I've really helped! I've managed to get other agencies involved and now they're all listening to how dangerous things are for the kids and there's loads being done to protect them. I've worked so hard on it, I've fought so hard for them. Are you proud of me?

It’s a construction company. Started a year ago, finally starting to get into the black. But I’m working 7 days a week now and constantly am thinking about it or on the phone or at work and my wife is starting to get irritated with me for it.

Why is this so hard? I've tried to do everything right, and I have more than most around me and I'm still struggling. I don't know if I'll be able to find a place to live.

It's for 3 A5 size pictures and 1 A4 size they aren't very heavy. The string is on the back.

Daddy I'm missing you a lot recently. Can I have a hug?

This place came up in conversation over the weekend. I'd made a similar thing back when kbin.social existed. It didn't take off at all then, and went down with the ship.

That was well over a year ago now, and the landscape has changed (in oh so many ways). Seems like a good time to jumpstart something like this again, and so ... here I am.