??????

I've been ready to go my whole life. I really should have been euthanized.

Fuck this life, this world, and everything. All love is fake. All friendship is fake. Everything positive is fake. Everyone wanted me to kill myself this whole time. Why didn't you just tell me? I would have died a long time ago if you weren't faking that you cared. Even the dog wanted me gone.

I serve NO purpose to the real people. I only waste their resources.

I've been slamming it into walls and hurling it at the ground this past week. I'm also dying if it manages to fall in one of the countless holes in the wall as well. I'll break everything I own and cut myself up in the process. My hands and arms are so sore but I still make it to work.

Like why should I save lives of the same society that justifies abusing me for my whole life? Fuck you. Wait for someone of your kind to die if you need organs. Fuck off.

Eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit eradicate that shit

What is so funny about a 27 year old using skincare products if I'm not being reduced to that stupid shit?

It'll be funny if it was trying so hard to be a real person, like a gross savage ape drinking Poland Spring™. But if I'm not it then what's so funny?

Not living because of a misdiagnosis is better than living on the wrong side of society as scum beneath the actual people's feet.

It's almost like it was a burden on the family and they're so much better without it. It's almost as if it should have fucking did the right thing and killed itself.

Best time would have been before that. Just eradicate that stupid fake shit.

I was right about everything. Family will still neglect, abuse, and bully me. School was just going to be worse with more forced friends, public performances without consent, and being tied to chairs and manhandled by the people I'm supposed to obey. I will be reduced to that stupid fake shit until I die (should have cut my losses). And as an adult I will still suffer from childhood. I really should have just died then. Euthanasia at birth is oh so bad but abusing a "kid" into killing itself is better. Eradicate that fake shit.

I love being able to drink when I'm dehydrated. I love having access to water. I love being able to shower. I love that basic necessities aren't seen as spoiled luxury privileges anymore. I love not being a Kardashian child for simply having a $1 water bottle. Fuck childhood. Fucking prison.

I was never bullied by my entire family for literally being a fucking child when I was a child. Nothing happened. I'm suffering from a concept.

Nothing will ever get better.

What is the point of living if your body only serves as a vessel for some fake disorder

Literally everyone has nothing, nothing at all, and you think it's fair to show up in an expensive luxury shirt? Spoiled. You deserve everything bad that happens to you, spoiled. Get over it.

It at least makes me look tired in the way to work which fits the aesthetic of bored tired amazon employee who makes bored tired amazon employee her entire personality

Ones I could have taken up when I was 8, just to cut ties with family and live alone. To end the bullying and abuse, and to be able to buy my own drinks and body wash. Anything, to be able to drink juice or water when I was dehydrated. To be clean, comfortable, and free to express myself without being bullied by family, friends, and teachers. A life where I could wear a black shirt with pink polka dots that cost about $7 at a cheap clothing store without being berated by every school staff member for being spoiled and rich, being guilt tripped for frivolous spending when homeless people exist and could have used that $7 on food, that I spent on myself for an unimportant unnecessary want; and being bullied by family for trying to look grown or fancy, overstepping my place in society as a stinky dirty [r word]; and being bullied by my friends for being feminine in a society where no man will be impressed, and wasting so much money on being unattractive to the common man.

If it meant I'd be called another name, and I had a place to live on my own, I would gladly have taken up a job at 8 years old where I'm no longer a burden on family, and the emotional punching bag of hundreds of people including family. Either a job or euthanasia to save me from childhood.