I'm sorry... I think it's me who triggered this by worrying about her so much (I won't why but it's not life-threatening) I messaged her on Lemmy (she's not online on Matrix), making her open a chat which we last used...

CW: self-harm
...when she had suicidal thoughts and as the police suggested I pretended to want to come so I could make them do a wellness check... ultimately did make her less willing to die but not nice of me

At least nobody (not even the police, who didn't ask for her username) but me (who she accidentally sent her name to) knows her real name in connection with the Lemmy and Matrix accounts, so she technically wasn't doxxed; the police didn't tell me the address they found in their database of course.

By the way, the police here is generally nice, if incompetent at times, and would use Miisha's legal (female) name. It's not like I sent a SWAT team.

Edit: Miisha insists this was not why she deleted her account. It's clear she was already in distress so I'd say I wasn't the only factor but given the timing, it was probably the last straw

So yeah, @Miisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone saw a sad chat, didn't want to see it ever again and went the way of @AnxiousMiisha@lemmy.blahaj.zone :(

all 38 comments

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[–] 7 points 5 hours ago

Just know we all love you Miisha.

I hope you can come back when you're feeling up to it, if not, thanks for all the posts girl :)

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  • [–] 15 points 11 hours ago

    Wishing her all the best and hope we get to witness her a third time

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  • [–] 41 points 14 hours ago (1 child)

    I would have been quite upset at the potential of being doxxed that way. I think she had asked you to stop worrying after her as well.

    Well. I hope she feels comfortable coming back under a different account.

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  • [–] 28 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

    Poor girl. I hope she's doing fine...

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  • [–] [S] 18 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 child)

    She just confirmed she's fine. The troubles* she or someone she cares about is having are not as bad as it seemed when she first described them.

    * Edit: this is the situation in question

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  • [–] 7 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 child)

    Yeah from a provider of inpatient care, it sucks. It'll keep you alive if your other option is death buuut...

    Since you do know her name / where she is here's my recs:

    ~3x T-shirts

    ~3x Shorts / pants that will stay up without a drawstring

    A sweater without strings or a hood

    Warm fuzzy slippers with a soft but grippy bottom.

    books - Make sure they're paperbacks bound with glue, not spiral or staples:

    • a plain notebook
    • 1-2 fiction or nonfiction according to preference (softcore smut is probably fine as long as it's not apparent on the cover)
    • an adult coloring book
    • if you can find it a paint by sticker book would be perfect
    • a box of crayons without a sharpener (they miiight allow markers / colored pencils but even if she wound up on the absolute highest possible self injury precautions crayons would still be fine).
    • a pack of cards

    If she normally wears wigs get her a bouffant bonnet with an elastic band / no ties.

    Will add anything else I think of.

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  • [–] [S] 3 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

    Ngl, I've been to a psych ward for lesser problems, and it was a rather uncomfortable but quite effective way to resolve the pressing issues, but there are several more or less legitimate reasons she doesn't want to go, or would use her free will to leave. Caring for her BF with a vertebrae fracture, for example...

    Anyway, if you want help with a list...

    • Blåhaj or other emotional support plushie
    • MP3 player (no video playback or games) or pocket radio
      • ideally rechargeable from USB-A without a cable, otherwise it can only be recharged at the nurse office; puny wired headphones are allowed; non-rechargeable models may be problematic due to springs in the battery compartment but those can be cut and replaced with sheet metal alternatives or even something like aluminium foil ball if need be
    • see if you have a hobby you've maybe "grown out of" or put on hold that can be done within the institution's restrictions (low-tech, no ropes, wires, sharp edges or heavy blunt objects). Reading, writing, drawing etc. you mentioned but there can be other options like Rubik's cube, large jigsaw puzzles, origami, or making elastic band bracelets, all of which were enjoyed at the teens' clinic I stayed at. There was a piano and a then-recent offline games console available during some hours, too. Under staff supervision, there are more options: pencils can be sharpened, devices with cables charged and paper model outlines cut out, for example.

    BTW "crayons" in Europe usually refers to colored pencils, allowed in the low-security department I stayed at. There are other options that don't get dangerously sharp: wax crayons (eww), color-core-in-thin-plastic-coating (once made by Progresso, not sure about modern alternatives), or Koh-i-noor art set with hexagonal translucent plastic shells and all-plastic advancing mechanism.

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  • [–] 15 points 14 hours ago (23 children)

    This isn't because of you. This has nothing to do with what you did, even tho it was mean.

    It's because of me. My pretentious support of women's rights while spewing blatant misogyny, erasing the experiences of non-trans gender-nonconforming people, spreading right-wing propaganda, absolutely annoying people who just want clean and readable feeds, basically forcing my obnoxious personality into every nook and cranny of this place. It's all on me.

    So sorry, but it's better this way. Being overdramatic is just my style so just writing this is proof of my extreme arrogance. I enjoyed my time here. Thanks you all.

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  • Hey girl, I'm just a random soul lurking around without posting (this is actually my first comment here) but I wanted to say that I really enjoyed your posts.

    I know life can be a bitch and everything can seem dark. I just wanted to put my little stone here and say that a random trans girl likes what you did, the joy you bring here and maybe a little touch of chaos too ;)

    Be yourself, that's the most important and take all the time you need to feel better!

    Love from a stranger <3

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  • [–] 7 points 9 hours ago

    Misha, sis. I wish I could lift this veil in front of your eyes and make you see how much life and humanity you breath into the community. People who want clean and readable feeds can go fly a kite, this isn't a billionaire-owned newsroom. This is a place shock full of queer, messy, flawed, amazing, radiant people and there's a seat with your name on it. I hope I'll see you wreck this feed silly many times again. Whatever you ultimately decide, take care of yourself.

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  • [–] 18 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

    NOOOOOOOO

    Nah but for real (just for your general fund of information) I’ve enjoyed all your posts; your memes bang, and I hope you’re doing alright. Truly, if people on Lemmy wanted something sanitized, then they should’ve stayed in the padded, corporate white walls of Reddit, and if someone doesn’t like your content, then they can damn well block you. It’s barely even an inconvenience.

    It isn’t obnoxious for you to live your truth, nor to post about it. It isn’t arrogant to be known, nor to be missed, which you will be.

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  • [–] 13 points 12 hours ago

    Miisha I dont know you, but, through seeing your interactions with others and your amazing meme dump. I even stalked your page for more memes. I promise, you are being too hard on yourself babes. We all love you here.

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  • [–] [S] 21 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

    Everyone enjoys you here, Miisha. I'm glad this trouble in your life right now* is not as serious as I thought and I hope you'll be back doing what folks loved you for. You don't need to post that often either: do what's comfortable and sustainable.

    * Edit: this is the situation in question

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  • [–] 17 points 13 hours ago

    Hey, love, I barely know you, but I wanted to let you know that my impressions of you have been nothing but positive.

    Now stop bein so mean to our friend (you) ❤️

    come back if/when you are ready, but if it isn't good for your mental health, please prioritize and take care of yourself.

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  • [–] 15 points 13 hours ago

    Miisha, we love you we care about you. Its a relief to hear you're doing all right. I love your posts, and your self assessment is very off base. It may have been a little too much all at once, but we love having you here.

    Given the state of the world, I get very worried when trans people disappear without explanation. You don't have to stay here if this community is not best for you, but if you leave please at least leave a note saying you're fine. I don't want to have to worry about you but I can't help it.

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  • [–] 16 points 14 hours ago*

    Love, you're in no way what you describe here, not to me and likely not to many others here.

    While I would gladly go to sleep to never wake up again, I enjoy interacting with you and your posts.

    Sis, you're loved, you can get to your lovely otter for ears, hugs and paws.

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  • [–] 16 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (7 children)

    Hey fuck off.

    My pretentious support of women’s rights while spewing blatant misogyny, erasing the experiences of non-trans gender-nonconforming people, spreading right-wing propaganda, absolutely annoying people who just want clean and readable feeds, basically forcing my obnoxious personality into every nook and cranny of this place.

    That's not what Miisha was doing.

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  • [–] 9 points 14 hours ago* (6 children)

    I will. Sorry Velma. You were honestly great and super kind to me. Sorry for ruining it like I always do...

    If it wasn't clear, this is me. This is my old account. Sorry for being me

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  • [–] 12 points 14 hours ago (3 children)

    Wait, wait, wait....maybe I misunderstood your comment. It read like you were making fun of Miisha there. What's up with this?

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  • [–] 15 points 14 hours ago (2 children)

    This is miisha's other account

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  • [–] 6 points 11 hours ago

    The internet can be a crappy place, and you gotta take care of you. All I ever saw was somebody trying to work on being the best self they could be. Hope you get there. We're cheering for you.

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  • [–] 10 points 13 hours ago (1 child)

    Woah wtf? Sis you okay?

    I got no vibes of right wing propaganda (unless I missed something??). You’re just, for lack of a way to put it, blazingly, unapologetically heterosexual lol.

    Just bc most Lemmy posters lean LGB, doesn’t mean you sharing your POV is an offense :( from what I’ve seen you’ve been nothing but super sweet and refreshingly candid. You’re not obligated to stay here ofc but I do hope you find some joy whatever you decide. Please don’t feel apologetic for being you! /gen /pos

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 12 hours ago

    She's only been hateful towards herself, never anyone else. I think she's in dire need of several IRL friends who shower her with affirming words so that she internalizes them, and shield her from potential hate from outside.

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  • [–] 10 points 13 hours ago (1 child)

    I hope she's okay, her memes have become an essential part of my daily Lemmy experience

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  • [–] 12 points 14 hours ago

    Some of the last comments I heard from her were concerning, so I think you were right to try and reach out. I worry about her. Given what I've heard so far, I don't think you should blame yourself for her deleting her account once again.

    Miisha take care of yourself, be kind to yourself. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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  • [–] 9 points 14 hours ago

    Oh no :( I hope she's ok. But she has her bf fortuntely.

    I hope she comes back

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  • I don't understand everything …

    Miisha if you see this message, feel free to reach out, I'm here. Love you sis.

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