Yeah, no Janteloven is absolutely toxic and should not stand as an example of anything. It was written as a commentary on social control and backwardsness in Denmark in the early 20th century. The commandments are as follows (with my own translation of meaning, not words):

"Du skal ikke tro, du er noget."

• Don’t you believe in yourself

"Du skal ikke tro, at du er lige så meget som os."

• Don’t you believe you are as good as us

"Du skal ikke tro, at du er klogere end os."

• Don’t you believe you are as smart as us

"Du skal ikke bilde dig ind, at du er bedre end os."

• Don’t you tell yourself you’re better than us

"Du skal ikke tro, at du ved mere end os."

• Don’t you believe you know more than us

"Du skal ikke tro, at du er mere end os."

• Don’t you believe you are more than us

"Du skal ikke tro, at du dur til noget."

• Don’t you believe you are good at anything

"Du skal ikke le ad os."

• Don’t you laugh at us

"Du skal ikke tro, at nogen bryder sig om dig."

• Don’t you think anyone likes you

"Du skal ikke tro, at du kan lære os noget."

• Don’t you believe you can teach us anything

It was 4 July, and we discussed why our country didn't celebrate its national day as fervently as Americans. No fireworks, no parades – how come?

"Well, it would be fairly embarrassing wouldn't it?" she said. "All that self-celebration. It's a bit over-the-top,"

I'm from the US and I feel this.

I don't think you need to be taught it. It seems natural (at least for someone who is neurodivergent)

When I complimented my companion

That's a thing I learned in Sweden. When we worked a night for scheduled maintenance or fixed a hickup in a project in the Netherlands we just went on or went home. Here we smile, say "Bra jobbat!" (Litteral good job, but more in the spirit of you/we did it!) and go for Fika (if possible)

Is that common to other Scandinavian countries? Finland, Norway, Denmark?