Snake initiates a codec call

SNAKE: All right colonel, I'm inside Diddy's room. There are mirrors on every wall, and it looks like professional grade recording equipment. There's a sign above the door. It says "Welcome to my inner rectum". What does that mean?
COLONEL: I think it's some kind of warning. And Diddler could be anywhere, since he managed to acquire stealth camoflouge. I'd watch out if I were you, Snake.
SNAKE: There's no sign of Diddy. How am I supposed to find him?
COLONEL: We've managed to revive Johnny in the medical bay after he was attacked by Diddler. It's going to be a few months before he can walk again, but he's been able to give us some clues.
SNAKE: Clues?
COLONEL: Apparently, there's a characteristic smell when Diddler is nearby. Otacon, can you explain?

OTACON: Snake, are you familiar with Cyclopentasiloxane-D5?
SNAKE: Cyclo what? Otacon, what are you talking about?!
OTACON: Cyclopentasiloxane-D5. It's a compound that's found in personal silicone lubricants. People use it for... uh... well... you know...
SNAKE: You mean like Astroglide? Sure, I use it all the time to help put on my sneaking suit.
OTACON: What?! Okay, I guess that's one use for it...
SNAKE: What does this have to do with Diddy?
OTACON: Well, when we revived Johnny after the attack, he kept explaining a sweet smell he noticed just before. We brought him a few sample products to sniff, and he was able to make the connection. But we ran into a problem.
SNAKE: Problem?

Cut to cold war era footage of a chemical manufacturing plant. Product is rapidly moving across conveyor belts

OTACON: Normally, Cyclopentasiloxane-D5 is classified as an odorless compound. There's no way for us to develop a detector without a smell. But it turns out that's only true with purified D5. In regular manufacturing, trace cyclic siloxanes and low-level volatile impurities are always present. Each manufacturer has a distinctive blend, giving each one a signature odor.

Return to codec call

SNAKE: So you found out which silicone lubricant Johnny smelled before the attack.
OTACON: We did, Snake. It's Sliquid.
SNAKE: LIQUID??
OTACON: No Snake, Sliquid! With an S! It's one of their older compounds before they went fully organic. Diddler must have bought these by the 55 gallon drum and is using up old stock. I've created a scent pattern that the nanomachines in your sneaking suit can detect. I'm uploading it remotely now.

SNAKE: I think I see a pattern coming up, but there's a concentration right behind me. Is there something wrong with it?
OTACON: SNAKE WATCH OUT!!!

Cut to room, a stealth camouflage outline of Diddy standing behind a crouched Snake

DIDDY: NOW IT'S MY SNAKE THAT'S GETTING SOLID!

• P. Diddy (Sean Combs)

MGS Boss music starts

Holy shit "Full name Person Diddler" got me.

I'm belly laughing at this and my kid is asking why in laughing. Don't know how to explain this.

"Skin tight sneaking suit?"

Tbf Jeffrey Epstein is a pedophile + sex trafficker but the name itself is like normal

!nominativedeterminism@feddit.uk

He didn’t want people to think he’s a poof.

The stories behind all of Sean 'Diddy' Combs' name changes as the hip-hop mogul heads to trial (AP)

I was going to say the P stands for pedo but that sounds about right too

"Guys, do you know why is he wearing two watches? Because it's always time to diddle"

(...Shit, I could have sworn the character was called the Diddler, but apparently it was Mr Diddlez. With a z, even.)

As long as he learned his lesson

It's fine because he put a cloth over his head while he did it so god couldn't watch.

I found this photo from the incident:

Was the baby married?