At 2pm Trump is going to address the nation. What is he going to say? Ironically or unironically.
(thelemmy.club)
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- 7:00 am Greenland time - Trump's invasion force lands on shore.
- 7:10 am The Danish government and military expected an invasion was weeks away at the earliest. The "fighting" begins. American troops begin by shelling the fuck out of Danish troops who are effectively cowering in foxholes or even out in the open. The Danish causalities mount up.
- 7:35 am The first American casualty. On Truth Social - Trump or more likely an aide calls the Danes "perfidious" and the poster says "I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE SURRDENER!" American libs can't stop talking about the typo. The truth about the American casualty doesn't emerge until 2037. The death was actually caused by friendly fire. The soldier who killed his fellow troops is named Bobby Chud. Too much time has passed. Americans ignore the news.
- 8:02 to 8:22 am A couple dozen Danish soldiers are blown to pieces. It's later called an "accident" that a couple warships sent over an astonishing barrage of their largest shells at small groups of soldiers plus other soldiers a distance away who are basically in bivouacs. "By accident" the drone footage of the slaughter appears on Fox News later in the day. "This video is graphic but we want you to see our proud, noble soldiers - Excuse me. Our proud soldiers - somebody's gonna get fired for putting in that word in that I won't say again - Our proud soldiers made great strides in accomplishing their courageous mission..."
- 8:33 pm A highly unusual emergency session of the Danish Parliament is "coincidentally" held as an equally highly unusual emergency joint session of the government and the military convenes right next door. It's total chaos because hardly anybody is physically there. Everybody is on zoom or on their cellphones wherever they happened to be. Later in the day - somehow every single stream leaks. #NaughtyBits and #OopsieBits go viral as people all over the world try to find those bits in all that mass of footage. In the following weeks - at least one MP is headed for divorce because his wife heard and then saw his lover on screen half naked for a few moments.
- 8:58 am The Danish government very politely asks for an emergency meeting with Trump.
- 9:01 am Trump on Truth Social says "Danish must surrender. NOW." American libs and their equivalents worldwide can't stop talking about the typo which maybe wasn't a typo at all. And was written that way for their benefit.
- 9:05 am MOAB is dropped on a location that had at most a couple dozen troops. They are atomized.
- 9:15 am The Danish government again and even more politely asks for an emergency meeting with Trump.
- 9:17 am The two Danish requests for an emergency meeting with Trump are posted. But they aren't posted by Trump's account. It's never explained but a tiny account called TRUMPWARMACHINE posts them. That account also calls for an "IMMEDIATE SURRDENER OR MOAB!" The Trump account says "Surrender now or it will be very, very bad."
- 9:30 am The Danish PM begins her emergency broadcast to the nation. She uses very usual words and phrases to avoid actually saying what's clear to anybody that they are surrendering.
- 9:35 am While the Danish PM is tying herself into knots to avoid saying what's actually happening - Trump does an impromptu presser. He says "Denmark is surrendering. They are losers and they are surrendering. I win. America wins. Now I want to talk about the classy - very, very classy - TrumpGreenland Hotel. It will break ground this year. World record building speed because of my guys that I know who are my guys." The journos want him to talk about the conflict but wants them to stop. "It's already over. Military talk over. Easy win. Very, very easy. I won. Hotel talk now. World record building speed. Best ever. Very, very best..."