My watch's heart rate reader broke, and before I disabled it, it would wake me up at 3am to tell me my heart had stopped. Nothing gets your heart going like finding out you're dead, funnily enough.

In the first year of dating my spouse, they took off their pants and I got a nosebleed. It HAD to be a coincidence because that’s never happened to me before AND I had seen their magnificent bod many times before that… it felt very gay anime moment.

Even at that resolution we can all see why his heart reacted

his fitbit was his wingman

Good one. I'm going to do that next time.

Awwwww, that is so wholesome 🥹

So cute

A buddy recounted how his smartwatch would tally high step counts on evenings he was home alone...

My Garmin complained about this all the time. When it constantly beeped in class one day, I just turned it off.

"An unhandled error has occurred... in your pants."

This, but in a high-stakes international undercover spy setting.