“Why would you even get into bestiality?” he asked. “We’re not into bestiality,” said Patel.

In a further exchange, Patel explained to Senator John Kennedy, the Louisiana Republican, that previously, regulations had barred anyone who engaged in bestiality “on either side of it.”

“Either side of what, the bestiality?” asked Kennedy. “So you disqualified the animal?”

“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.

Is this real life or a god damn SNL skit? It reads like an SNL skit.

How do you start a fight between Kash Patel and JD Vance?

The following post didn't make much sense until I saw this one further down the feed.

Thanks, OP, for keeping me sufficiently aware of the insanity to understand the memes.

The answer he was getting to is just as crazy. There were so many trafficked victims who were also forced into beastiality that ALSO want to be in the FBI there grew a need to update the policy. Like....what?

This is the type of shit that would be written for a South Park episode.

Hr is trying to say people who fucked animals during hazing rituals are victims.

What’s really funny here is that they could have said something like “we condensed the questions using screening questions. Instead of asking about specific, uncommon, convictions we ask if they’ve been convicted of anything. This is to make the process more efficient.”

Or whatever.

But now, no one is going to believe that’s why, and everyone’s going to believe cash got shagged by a horny goat.

Jesus, is this what even qualifies as a distraction now? If gas prices keep going up Kash may end up sucking off a llama in front of Congress.

“We have great canines, but we’re not going to disqualify them,” said Patel.

Fuck, these people are weird.

If you watch the full thing they removed the restrictions for vicims according to Patel. Apparently someone was forced to engage in such acts against their will.

Its hard to understand why they would do this. Some high muckety muck must have hit bestiality (I'm sure they prefer "zoophilia") on their polygraph, or else its a opener/stage setter to ease a broader category of crimes, probably pedophilia and rape.

But no one can claim the GOP doesn't love animals anymore. A Lot. Patels claim that this is aimed at protecting sexual assault vicitims is nonsensical. They could carve out a law specifically for that use case but they didnt. And the FBI pushing a law specifically for an exceedingly rare outcome for victims is out of pattern. Its not about victims, its to protect perpetrators-- as is usual for republicans in the US.

Kash fucked a dog huh?…

Why do I get the impression some second rate LLM scraped references to "fucking the dog' and turned it into official FBI policy?

Two years of total control and this is what they consider a win?

I know there's no conservatives here because Lemmy is very much not a safe space for them, but I'd really like to ask one what the fuck they think winning is.

I guess that's one way to out one of your kinks.

I just keep thinking Furry Bureau of Investigation.

You're all missing the bigger picture, with FBI agents being placed at polling stations they need this to - say it with me - RAT FUCK THE ELECTION!

These DEI hiring standards are getting out of hand.

Are companies going to have to hire donkey fuckers to their boards in order to comply or what?

I'm gettting tired of saying this but I'm glad I'm not an Onion writer. Those poor guys have never had to work so hard to get a head of reality.

Someone rich is about to join the FBI.

Shaq was not on my bingo card.

Which White Supremacist group is it that has bestiality as an initiation rite?

“We’re not into beastiality,” said Patel. “It’s interspecies erotica, and we will not engage in this type of kink shaming.”

Kash: Someones gotta fuck those animals. No kink shame

Anyone reasonable: do you really need to find people who fuck animals though?

Kash: How else will do we replace the mounted division with a centuar division with out the JTRHNBR people? Checkmaate liberals!! drops mic showers self with tallboy of Fosters