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[–] 111 points 1 week ago (8 children)

My ex once gifted me a spatula. Not because we would have needed one, but because she liked the idea of me spanking her with it. Unfortunately it had holes though, so it hurt a lot more than she thought. So we went back to flat hand without tools. Still a nice thought of her.

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  • [–] 16 points 1 week ago (5 children)

    Do holes make it directly hurt more or just go faster?

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  • [–] 27 points 1 week ago (5 children)

    Text screenshot looks straight out of a movie. You telling me you’ve never texted your significant other until you asked what they wanted for their birthday? Or what, you constantly delete your conversations?

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  • [–] 19 points 1 week ago (3 children)

    The battery at 79% 18:53 is pretty sus as well

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  • [–] 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)
  • [–] 10 points 1 week ago

    Aww, it's a little ladlle, Laddy.

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  • and what better way to say i love you then with the gift of a spatula

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  • [–] 4 points 1 week ago (4 children)
  • [–] 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

    Sheepshead it is then.

    Bon appetite.

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  • [–] 1 point 1 week ago

    pro tip: just ask for some consumable that can be had in a fancier version, like soap or spices. Stuff people can buy at markets from people who actually made it themselves.
    That way people have a good reason to visit markets and have a nice time, it supports people making handmade stuff, and you get gifts you can actually appreciate and a nice little story of where they bought it.

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  • If my girlfriend gave me a laddle, I think I'd display it on my desk and cherish it forever.

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