I've got 'life baron', 'life baroness', several kinds of knighthoods ranging from banner knight, page, hedge knight, chevalier, gralsritter, squire, esquire, enquired, e=mc2, Scheißhausputzer Knecht, square table knight, night light, knight commander of the order to defend tapatio from getting its recipie changed by corporate demons that just bought the company out, sous chef, and knight of the order of martyred revolutionaries.

Please leave an application in the comment box below on what non-inheritable peerage you wish to have and I totally promise you in the next hexbear update you'll have your custom title next to your username for the low fee of $29.99

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[–] 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Yeah but stop using chrome Bruh. Get Firefox on android.

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I'll be a scheißschnauser or however it's spelled

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  • [–] 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    can i be the duke of nukem?

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Can i be the royal avenor? That seems like a stable gig. Failing that, the dead-body cart guy, or the local charcoal burner would be aight.

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  • [–] [S] 6 points 3 weeks ago

    stalin-spoonstalin-gun-2 I BEQUEATH TO YOU THE TITLE OF ROYAL AVENOR, HANDLER OF THE DRAY CARRIAGE OF CORPUS HUMANO, AND COMMANDER OF THE SCHWARZ KÖTE

    knighted by the power investitured in me by the great big spoon.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I wanna be a royal bean counter. I count the beans

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  • [–] 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    Honestly a better fundraising drive idea than Twitter's blue check system

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  • [–] [S] 7 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    We'll go to war with Zealand and field endless lances of bear knights! Huzzah!

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago

    Beanis Buster

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago* (1 child)

    can i be the keeper of swans

    edit: FUCK someone beat me to it FUCK

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Can I get "Royal Food Taster"?

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Dear Comrade Alaskaball, please bestow upon me the title of Tapioca Knight. Below is the fee + tip, plz no one else take it thank you

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  • [–] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)
  • life day celebrater

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

    Ooh! Can I be a scheming advisor?

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

    do you give advice on schemes, or are you an advisor who is scheming

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

    I would be scheming myself, but if my liege needs scheme advice, I suppose that too

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    I'll take "Royal court mage" my only magical skill is finding coins in peoples ears.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago

    Kim's Nr 1 Fan.

    You know who I'm talking about right? We're all on the same page here no need to specify alphys-anxious

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  • [–] 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    this fucking puts a stake through the heart of my plan to curry favor with you and eventually become a Marquess

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  • [–] [S] 5 points 3 weeks ago

    Sorry I'd have to submit you to the guillotine union office for being landed nobility if you did before shortly following thereafter to submit my head to the guillotine union office for the same offense

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 child)

    Mreow


    ⓘ This user is suspected of being a cat. Please report any suspicious behavior.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 weeks ago

    Has jester been taken yet?

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago

    Yes, my perfect little girl needs a Princess title. She has earned this by being the sweetest and most perfect kitty who has gone over a full month without puking on my carpet.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago*

    to defend tapatio from getting its recipie changed by corporate demons that just bought the company out

    take the lesson that the world learned from amor salsa a few years and PROTECT that shit while you still have it!!! lol

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  • [–] 3 points 3 weeks ago

    Dowager's Coxswain & Lord of Canned Gravies

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