President Donald Trump concluded his Republican midterm convention on Thursday by leading the audience in a pledge ... to himself.

Trump asked the crowd to raise their right hands and begin: “I pledge to the greatest president in the history of the United States.”

The crowd dutifully repeated the line, calling Trump “the greatest president in the history of the United States.”

Trump added: “that loves us so much he can’t even breathe.”

The crowd again repeated the line, but then it got a little harder to follow.

“That I will go out with my family, my friends, I’ll do it anyway, I don’t care if I’m registered or not. I’m going to try and cheat like hell like they do,” he said. “There’s never been bigger cheaters, they don’t care. I am going to go out and I am going to get my friends, my family, and we are going to vote on November 3rd or we are going to vote before that.”

Unable to repeat all of that, the crowd cheered.

Trump realized he lost them and reset.

“Are you ready?” he asked. “Here’s the way you ― “

But he wasn’t ready himself as he got sidetracked by people in the audience. He tried once more to finish, with the crowd repeating after him, but left them behind as he went off on another tangent.

“So help me God,” he concluded.

The crowd repeated that part heartily.

“You know what happens if you don’t vote?” Trump asked. “You go to hell!”

So much blasphemy that he's telling his supporters they're going to hell!

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[–] 3 points 11 hours ago

Repeat after me. "I" state your name.

"I state your name."

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  • [–] 25 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

    These people would be burning witches in another century.

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  • [–] 6 points 15 hours ago

    Unleashed. Literally.

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  • [–] 24 points 21 hours ago (9 children)

    I'd like to make this very clear to all the religious folks out there. Hell does not exist because why would an almighty God allow such an abomination? They wouldn't. There, relax already.

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  • [–] 7 points 15 hours ago*

    Hell absolutely exists.

    It's what Republicans put others through.

    And it's what Republicans strive to put others through.

    Republicans will straight up tell you they're trying to protect you and prevent you from going through hell, while the whole time they're working hard to make sure you're going through the hell they've created for you your whole life.

    And after torturing you, they claim "No, no, no, you don't understand. You were torturing me!"

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  • [–] [S] 4 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

    Maybe, but the religious right needs to burn and suffer in hell. It's what they f*cking deserve, especially since they're wearing the mark of the beast upon their brow in the shape of a red hat.

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  • [–] 2 points 16 hours ago*

    You simply don't understand. Without Fire Demon there can be no Skyman. There must exist an antagonist to every good epic tale of us vs them/good vs evil. Without looming fear you cannot control the masses. And the sheep will argue over this to the bitter end.

    Edit: but thanks for fighting the "good" fight.

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  • [–] 29 points 22 hours ago* (7 children)

    The only thing I like about him is how he humiliates Evangelical Christians regularly. He doesn’t believe any of the shit they do, but he makes them feel like they are gaining cultural power, so they are devoted to him.

    This instance is particularly funny. One of the few things he knows about their religion is that they are motivated by a fear of going to hell, so he’s just like “I’ll use that!” If you don’t vote, you go to Hell. So get out and vote, you dumb rubes.

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  • [–] 2 points 16 hours ago

    He's using them.

    That's all he does. 80 years of life and he's a fucking Locust. He uses what he can and then he moves on.

    They keep letting him feed off their fat asses, so he dives in face first to whatever they want him to be, whatever they need him to say, to get them to do what he wants: supply him with the power that fuels his narcissism.

    He's a fucking addict and they are his drug. MFer is getting high on his own supply.

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    [–] 6 points 16 hours ago (1 child)

    Not an ounce of democracy in sight

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  • [–] 3 points 17 hours ago

    dammit i'm the fucking blasphemy dude knock it the shit fuck balls off

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  • [–] 14 points 1 day ago (5 children)

    https://youtu.be/JHBRMyx_xHs?is=hItSVYU6rL2a_DSy

    I can't even. How anyone could be this demented and still be a leader of even a youth sports team would be beyond me, let alone the President of the US.

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  • [–] 3 points 15 hours ago

    Ik man. I think he was crushing it for that audience. They love this. They think he's their guy. If you wanted to make your dog take a pledge it wouldn't matter that it was meandering either. Woof! Just woof.

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  • [–] 172 points 1 day ago (6 children)

    I think that headline missed the plot.

    “That I will go out with my family, my friends, I’ll do it anyway, I don’t care if I’m registered or not. I’m going to try and cheat like hell like they do,

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