Dude for real. A cheap bidet attachment for your toilet is the way to go.

First off, a bidet is better than toilet paper. I've been using it for years, and it cleans you 100%. I use basically 1 square of TP to dry myself after, and it's always completely clean. If you had a bird shit on your arm would you just wipe it off with paper and call it a day?

I laughed at all my friends who made fun of me for getting one on all my toilets after the great TP shortage of 2021, and a few of them ended up switching over.

For the apocalypse I have a camping toilet with a foot operated bidet. I mean I already use it when car camping, and I have a hand bidet for backpacking.

Solar panels are also in play. I also bought a freeze dryer and have about 5 deers worth of freeze dried jerky, and buy and freeze dry on sale fruit and veggies pretty regularly. I try to maintain around a 1-2 year supply of on hand food. A few steel plates, ar-15 pistol, and enough ammo to hold off the upper floor for quite a while too, but that's another conversation. I'm as ready to go as I can though, let's do this.

NOT IF I BUY IT FIRST!

This comment is quite the rabbit hole for a solar storm

Cool. I'll go to your house.

This most extreme level can cause complete HF (high frequency) radio blackouts on the entire sunlit side of the Earth, lasting for a number of hours.

So, is that really it? A HF radio blackout? I can't imagine most of us would even notice if HF were disrupted. I don't know the physics involved, but if VHF/UHF were hit it would be a much bigger problem.

I edited the post to use that URL instead, thanks!

Yikes lol. Here is another source that is more sciency.

https://www.space.com/aurora-alert-solar-flare-eruption-cannibal-cme-november-30-december-1

They're called Xcrements

Because social media is useless now.

CMEs and solar flares do not travel at the speed of light, as they are not light

The charged particles that affect our electrical and electronic systems have mass and therefore cannot travel at the speed of light... We can see the visible light effects of a flare and know that the slower-moving particles that will cause actual damage are on the way.

I would surmise they're talking about a system to let us know where the worst effects are happening so people can prepare. This article says the fastest storms take 15-18 hours to arrive and most are slower. https://www.swpc.noaa.gov/phenomena/coronal-mass-ejections

Yes, it's not just light, it's better to understand it as an ejection of super heated plasma. It is mass ( actually called a coronal mass ejection ) and maybe kinda comparable in ELI5 concept to a volcano eruption.

Possible but extremely unlikely.