this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2026

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Lemmy Shitpost

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

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When you hear a noise at night and go downstairs to see what happened (thelemmy.club)

submitted 8 hours ago by JimHollow@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

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[–] Primor@lemmy.world 1 point 9 minutes ago

NSFW please! I was not! ready for this

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 point 1 hour ago

ER.... Code brown!.... Another left ass cheek with a bullet hole!

[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 hours ago

Velcro thigh holster FTW

Also keeping a blunderbuss by the stairs.

[–] SaltSong@startrek.website 2 points 3 hours ago

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

[–] QuietGenesis@lemmy.world 1 point 2 hours ago

Most American post of all time

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 6 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

You don't jam the barrel into your urethra?

hideshow 2 child comments

[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago

It's already occupied with the cocktail stirrer

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 0 points 8 hours ago (1 child)

So you bring a small cannon...

hideshow 2 child comments

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago*

I just go back to sleep. Never figured a noise in the house to be anything other than the house, shit falling, or a rodent. All stuff I'm not getting up for and definitely not finding a weapon for.

It has backfired, though. Once, about 30 years ago, a bicycle got taken from the front lawn. That should've been a bullet in someone's head as justice, of course.

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