The OP includes that it’s from /r/shortguys, but it didn’t have to. Nowhere else is this fucking weird about being short.

-a dude nearly 6” shorter than average

Hobbling used to be a thing, where they'd chop the toes off...

So basically, the taller you are the more you can afford to embezzle. The entire NBA becomes corporate scapegoats overnight.

How about free extensions for having a clean record?

Asking for a friend.

Weight is usually the determining factor in any fight. And small people usually have a complex on top. So you are just making them more aggressive in the end?

That's what we need, another reason to look down on short people.

I'm so sorry...

What if they made you taller so you have to stoop to go through doorways?

Maybe, but only for like really violent criminals.

Like someone who killed fitty men

That was clearly written by someone who hasn't watched Casino.

I would commit incredibly heinous crimes if doing so would make me shorter. It is not good policy to incentivise a crime wave.

I’m decently above average height for my country, but I grew up with so many really tall people around that I never felt tall. So a cheaper punishment could be to have to be the waterboy for a basketball team.

So torture?