Darn it. I was expecting a sew sew thread, but thats actually quite funny.

Omg, Erika Moen from Penny Arcade’s Strip Search? Wow, I haven’t thought about that in years! She was great!

But which one is parallel to the selvage

Update: this one is for the two sewing nerds who upvoted this. The warp is parallel to the selvage. Add THAT to your cutesy mnemonic.

I always think "warp speed ahead" followed by a hand gesture for the benefit of number one.

That's how I would remember it, weft is left (and right) and warp is the other way.