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Cos it was YESTERDAY (thelemmy.club)
submitted 3 months ago by to c/autism@lemmy.world
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[–] 18 points 3 months ago (7 children)

My memory is run by RNG, it's complete chaos and i have no control over it. Importance of something doesn't matter either.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (6 children)

    I remember entire episodes that happened when I was in elementary school.

    Some of my friends don't even remember very well that we were in the same elementary school, but in different classes.

    I can remember a lot of very specific details about some things, but sometimes I can't remember some basic words in my mother tongue...

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  • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (5 children)

    Yeah i can forget words in my native language as well. Though that's not long term memory issue, just recalling on command issue. Your long term, episodic memory is rather good. I completely lack that episodic memory and just retain rough gist of the event, if anything at all.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago (4 children)

    Sounds familiar. I would say most long-term memories I have are of traumatic nature. I have some good ones, sure, but I guess not many. I also remember random unimportant stuff sometimes. I would say I remember extremely little of my childhood and teenage years. 20s I remember a bit better, but much less than, say, my partner.

    My father made it into a thing with his whole "how don't you remember?? There's something wrong with you", because his long-term memory is very good. Mine is like my mother's, I'd say. Anyway, once my partner said "how don't you remember??" exasperated when describing a person we both knew, and that alone made me cry, lol. (In that case, it turned out they misremembered the name, so it was a misunderstanding instead of my memory.) It's not like I choose not to remember. I don't mind that much, but when someone nags me about it, it does bother me.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah i hear you. Nagging about it, "you'd remember if it we're important" or " you haven't made any memories" got under my skin as well. Though last year i finally found an answer to that, for me it's SDAM(severly deficient autobiographical memory).

    Studies regarding it. https://sdamstudy.weebly.com/what-is-sdam.html

    And more descriptive article regarding it. https://whattospeak.substack.com/p/what-is-sdam

    https://aethermug.com/posts/i-do-not-remember-my-life-and-it-s-fine

    Maybe it will be helpful for you.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago* (2 children)

    This is really interesting, thanks for linking it! I fit some, but not other criteria. Last several years I've realized I identify a lot with ADHD memes, and having looked into it, I suspect I have ADD (ADHD-I). I just dread seeking diagnosis because "what if I'm making it up and I'm just lazy?" thought keeps knocking me down. Which is ironic, considering how many people with ADHD have this exact thought process/fear.

    Edit: (all this is funny, because I'm convinced my mother and sibling have "classic" hyperactive type of ADHD and I also highly suspect my father is on the spectrum, but at the same time I'm not quite letting myself go get tested)

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Yeah the imposter syndrome is rather common among ADHD and ASD people as well. While ADHD doesn't directly effect long term memory, but it does effect recalling and saving ability aka cant really recall something the brain decided wasn't interesting enough to memorize and that's presuming the brain even decided it wants to try and recall something specific.

    No worries, it can be mentally rather difficult to get the diagnosis, though once that is done it's like a weight being lifted from your shoulders.

    But in the meanwhile, until you're ready. No one is stopping you in relating ADHD memes and using tips that help people with ADHD to deal with day to day life better. You can check out how to ADHD on YT, she seems to be one of the more healthiest approaches to dealing with all sorts of issues coming from it. Unless you already know that channel.

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    • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (3 children)

    I remember every waking moment going back 6 months perfectly with the sole exceptions of faces and names of any person.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I feel you on that!

    I'm not face blind, I can recognise particular faces fine. What seems to be screwed for me is face memory. Without a face to anchor to, names are then an absolute bitch.

    I've yet to find even an actual name for the phenomenon, let alone a fix.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago (1 child)

    Idk what it's called either but it appears to be related to a constant mode of threat assessment similar to what animals in the wild experience to stay alive.

    Environement features and the person's actions and movements are identified but identifying social features are not.

    Therefor it follows that antianxiety medications or similar behavioral drugs could potentially offset it, but honestly I think I rather keep my wits about me these days.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 months ago

    I personally suspect it's autism related. Social effort gets downgraded whether I want it to be or not. It doesn't seem to track with my own fight or flight reflexes. We might have different variants.

    I know our brains deal with faces separately. That's why we see them everywhere e.g. face in the moon. It then makes sense that face memory is done separately.

    It's weird. It's almost like someone took a video of an event, but replaced the face and body with a generic placeholder, and a pointer to more information. That extra info promptly gets dropped, leaving the pointer hanging.

    I once found myself completely unable to describe someone, less than 5 minutes after talking to them, knowing I might need to describe them. The fact they had a nose piercing, and neon blue hair just got dumped from memory.

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    • [–] 5 points 3 months ago (2 children)

    I'm like that with my girlfriend because ADHD makes her spout nonsense most of the time and i just started ignoring her and i told her that, here's an example "we have a cucumber in the fridge did you see it? It's huge, it's massive go look at the cucumber" sure hon, or just "penis, you penis" while watching a movie for no other reason than to say something, so i'm just like i know you are here but i'm ignoring everything you say unless we are actively talking and even then there will be random words thrown in just for good measure.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 months ago*

    This is at the same time very very cute but I can also see it being a bit tiring. If she's aware of it and she's ok with it, I guess there's no harm in what you're doing...

    Not gonna lie, I laughed so much at

    we have a cucumber in the fridge did you see it? It's huge, it's massive go look at the cucumber

    💯💯💯

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  • [–] 1 point 3 months ago

    My wife has ADHD, and I have wicked social anxiety. This is a constant struggle.

    It's tough because what she seems to want most is an active listener, but I literally can't keep up with all of her conversations. It's caused friction before because she'll tell me she's told me something I've forgotten and accused me of not listening to her - but I just can't absorb everything that's being said. Especially when she gets excited and I'd swear she can speak nonstop without pausing for breath.

    At the end of the day I view a lot of her speech as like... vocal stimming. And I get easily overstimulated.

    It's a communication issue, and when miscommunicating both sides have a part to play. We've worked out a system where if she has something important to say she'll clearly ask me to listen so I can stop what I'm doing and pay attention. And likewise, if she's going too fast I'm allowed to interrupt her to ask her to slow down.

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    • [–] 1 point 3 months ago*

    I'll remember stuff someone told me yesterday, but 10 minutes ago? Nope.

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    [–] 1 point 3 months ago*

    My team when I tell them "so remember what I said in the beginning of meeting"

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