This is very relatable to me. I put on a lot of weight since the pandemic and its been so fun to flirt left and right and not be taken seriously, but every once in a while, someone likes big girls and bites. Panic.
I like being bitten too
Panic.
'Tis the only reasonable response
I ‘flirt’ because dudes assume thats what I'm doing when I'm just having a conversation, and panic when they treat it like flirting. Because it isn't, ever, I’m ace/aro, keep your dick in your pants; I just like human connection.
But I’m also a chick magnet and I can’t explain that away with basic human decency..? I guess I give off vibes? I mean ladies are 1,000,000 more appealing than men, but I still don't want to sex them (tried both, meh)
Have you tried not being attractive? /s
I’m open to advice, but yes, I make no effort to be attractive. I’m clearly not a great judge, but I wouldn't fuck me ;)
Haha it’s probably because you like human connection first over sex. That’s why you’re a chick magnet.
"Ace" is the same as asexual?
Yea, sorry, ace/asexual and aro/aromantic or not into relationships that aren't platonic :)
I'm so sorry
Gross.
I’m not.
Horniness sounds like a massive burden, and romantic relationships are just friendships with touchy-feely stuff and lots of baggage I’m not into.
I will elaborate on my position: horniness and romantics are options to enjoy life.
And when someone is deprived of some of the options life gives, it is sad for me.
Thats not better.
Just because I'm not into what you are into doesn't mean my life is lacking. You like chocolate, I don’t like sweets much at all but if I have to choose a flavor, I like the taste of un-flavored foods as much as I like a strong curry.
Same thing. You see my life as lacking because of what you think I should like based on what you like, but it’s plenty rich in ways that actually speak to what I like.
You see my life as lacking [...] based on what you like
I think that is exactly the case here. People just can't comprehend how a life other than their own would look like.
I guess that also falls under the Dunning Kruger Effect?
I think that is exactly the case here. People just can't comprehend how a life other than their own would look like.
Oh, I can.
For years I had severe clinical depression and it rendered me incapable of feeling almost anything towards my SO, friends and relatives.
It was... I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
Now medication at last is working and it's like chalk and cheese.
That's... not the same as being aro at all. It doesn't mean you feel nothing towards anyone. Just that you're not interested in romantic relationships at all.
What is left, when you subtract sexual and romantic aspects?
what you think I should
Not should. Could be able to.
Well to be honest I believe if I was given the option to not be weighed down by such feelings then I would take it.
Really would make it easier to make genuine connections with people without my subconscious doing some funky shit.
Now I could be wrong and I am assuming of course but I feel like a lot of those (not all) who are free from such urges prefer it that way and even if given the option to feel those things they wouldn’t take it.
I would like an option to switch horniness on and off - that would be the best!
Do you bother blind people about how they could experience the world if they were sighted, too?
Like its a moot point, idk what you hope to gain here other than being a dick about how your way is better when I have no way to ever know, and you can never see my point of view either.
Bother? If we would have a discussion with a blind person I would say, that I'm sorry too.
You probably have thought it's condescending, but I've meant it as compassion.
And now you're attacking me.
This person is not deprived of romantic relationships; they're there if they chose to pursue them. They choose not to as they do not derive enjoyment from them. Do not feel sad, be happy they know themselves better than most.
They choose not to
What I've derived from their answer is that they are incapable of sexual or romantic feelings. Hence they call themselves aromantic / asexual.
But if they're capable and it's their conscious decision to be aro / asex - then it's another story.
I mean, if you want to get into it sure. But at the end of the day, different people like different things and we all live different lives. It's not a reason to feel sad for someone. It's not like they resent their lack of sexual or romantic feelings, that's just how they are.
Its both a burden and exhilerating.
In one way its like nagging hunger you have to feed, or don't feed and are bothered by the hunger. But its also feels amazing like being hyper alert and biochemicals flowing, and if you eat its like a super tasty meal you can still savor later.
!shirtsthatgohard@lemmy.world is the better option to link on lemmy, as it will keep people in their home instance.
Plus there is a dedicated "cross post" feature on Lemmy.
Funnily, both links look/act identical to me and keep me in my home instance. Must be an mbin thing?
If you use a mobile client thats probably the cause. On voyager they look the same to me as well.
The apps have been heavily developed to fix the instance interoperability quirks, but a lot of users are on web where the ! link works better.
If you are already on web version then idk. My info might be outdated.
A web client is still a client that can do custom logic for clicking links or rewrite them when processing markdown. I don't know if popular web clients for either Lemmy or kbin do that, but they sure could!
Thats true, and all this stuff might just be outdated info :) its entirely possible the web clients have been adapted, and we just aren't aware of it because.. who knows everything?
Good thing I don't know how to flirt. So there is no reason to panic
The one time it worked I panicked so hard I'm now married. No flirting for me anymore… (it's probably better that way)
You can still flirt with your wife, you should go do it right now.
I do! Not right now, but I do. And still panic when ti works…
Flirt? So like talk for hours about Warhammer 40k, Star Trek, Battletech and historical Naval battles?
Battletech?
Which Clan would be best at doing sex? I think Goliath Scorpion would be tough to beat.
Well it sure as hell ain't the Ice Hellions.
I'm too stupid, aromantic, and autistic to recognize flirting resulting in the semi frequent situations where other people think I'm flirting but no I'm entirely serious about what I'm talking about with no ulterior motives.
There was at least one situation where I was info bitching about the lack of Bronze Age fantasy to some girl where she interrupted me to inform me she had no interest in sleeping with me, I informed her that I didn't care and just wanted to talk about the Bronze age and Neolithic since my friends banned me from that subject for a month. Turns out she was in the field of Neolithic studies focused primarily on late neolithic Scandinavia and the possible merger of paleo Europeans and Indo-Europeans in the region, we had a 2 hour discussion on the Neolithic plague hypothesis.
Eats shoots and leaves
All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _
