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[-] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 32 points 2 months ago

Men have been trained from birth that displaying any kind of emotional need is a sign of weakness that others will use against them.

If a man does display this kind of vulnerability with you, it means:

  1. He is extremely stressed to the point where maintaining social norms is beyond his abilities at the moment.
  2. He trusts you in a way that can't be expressed in words.
  3. Both.
[-] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago

Women have been trained to see men this way too. I showed vulnerability to my ex one time, and her attitude changed overnight and she broke up with me not long after.

[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 12 points 2 months ago

This happened to me. My ex had our kid, and I was no longer the "hardened bad boy" but instead a loving caring father and my ex decided that she did not want that and left me.

[-] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 5 points 2 months ago

4: He's broken his programming but also maybe any of the above

[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 15 points 2 months ago

Very true, especially right now for me. I had to close my business (a local game shop) after 7 1/2 years. I loved it, I am not coping well.

[-] solarvector@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

I'm sorry to hear that :(

There's a lot of effort and dedication you're saying goodbye to.

[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 months ago

I am really missing my weekly TTRPG games. Two have totally derailed because no one can host now that my shop is gone. I found a place (bar at an abandoned haunted hotel) that we can use twice a month. Trying to get in more often so the other games can move there.

I had also finally got a community for a small table top wargame going when I closed.

[-] Areexor@feddit.org 6 points 2 months ago

Sorry to hear that. Hope you find something new that bring joy from work.

[-] nocturne@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 months ago

Trying to go back to college to get my engineering degree, but I am almost 50 now and it kind of feels pointless.

[-] Jax@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 months ago

I'm more partial to laying my head in my girlfriends lap, but yeah the point is the same.

[-] Dagnet@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Just yesterday I talked to my cousin at a bakery and he broke down, saying how he felt like he had to keep "strong" even at home but his mom (my aunt) died just a month ago. Men are victims of sexism too, we all should work together

[-] darthsundhaft@piefed.social 7 points 2 months ago

A hug would be nice...

[-] Taokan@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

Men tend to shrug off the small stuff, but the big stuff ... having a shoulder is the world. Death, work layoff, bad health diagnosis, etc ... just because they don't look for a shoulder every day, doesn't mean it isn't needed and appreciated when it's time.

[-] Defectus@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I don't think it's a big deal. Neither do I adhere to many masculine norms. Have dated a woman now a couple of times, been on her shoulder and her on mine. Both feels great.

[-] Professorozone@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Hugs are my favorite things in life. I have no silly macho compulsions to avoid asking. I'm more than happy to ask my wife for hugs and she has no problem providing them and vice versa.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

I prefer just laying down my head on her lap.
Probably reminds me of when I was a kid and my granny would pet me while I waited for the cult in church to be over. So soothing.

[-] k0e3@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

Sometimes, I guess. But I need alone time more often than I need a shoulder.

I just need the world to stfu and leave me alone for just 1 day out of a month to find inner peace.

[-] Aqarius@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Some people have just gotten used to their own shoulders.

[-] Malyca@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 months ago

Yet the argument we often hear is that women expect you to be psychic. If you need something, ask. Both genders.

[-] toynbee@piefed.social 1 points 2 months ago

... You're in my house?

this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
99 points (96.3% liked)

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