273
Ah shit, here we go again (thelemmy.club)
submitted 4 months ago by to c/Memes@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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[–] 63 points 4 months ago* (1 child)

Wiping mentioned on the internet, bidet sleeper agent activated

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  • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (3 children)

    Yeah, like everybody has the possibility to install a bidet.

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  • [–] 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    assuming you have running water, yeah you should be able to find a model that works. if you mean your landlord "won't let you", enjoy the sweet sensation of not giving a fuck what they think because they will never check. if for some reason you still can't, they make portable bidets that you don't even need to install. I have one that is basically just a water bottle with a curved nozzle for a cap, so you just have to fill it, aim, and squeeze to spray your ass. there are fancier ones with a battery and pump.

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  • [–] 6 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

    Many people assume a standalone bidet and don't realize there's cheap ones you can install on your existing toilet pretty easily. I bought a few ransoms randoms off of Amazon 6 years ago and they are still going strong.

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    • [–] 13 points 4 months ago

    bidet ftw

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    [–] 12 points 4 months ago

    GET A BIDET

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    [–] 9 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    sobs in IBS...

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  • [–] 1 point 4 months ago*

    Doctor gave me Colesevelam, I forget what it's actually used for, but off-label: it binds matter together in your GI tract. Each pill lasts like 3-4 hours so as long as you take them regularly during the day (3x2 pills is max I think) you will have a sense of normalcy while at work. Once they wear off though you're back to business as usual.

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    • [–] 8 points 4 months ago

    This should've been posted in shitposts

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    [–] 5 points 4 months ago (2 children)

    Rub some Oxyclean on there. It's the stain specialist!

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    • [–] 4 points 4 months ago

    It’s like wiping a marker.

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    [–] 3 points 4 months ago

    Nothing worse than a Frictionless Wipe

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    [–] 3 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    Like trying to wipe away a grease pencil.

    (The answer is fiber! Have a decent amount and sometimes its a ghost shit!)

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    • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    That's why I finger blast myself until I get hard. I'm not German so I can't poop while erect and the flow stops. Just one very careful wipe after that and we're good to go.

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    • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    I've had this maybe twice my whole life, it's usually 5-6 wipes and there's nothing left. Dunno what the fuck you're eating or doing to have that as a common problem.

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    • [–] 2 points 4 months ago (1 child)

    You need to use the millitary finger method☝️ Its environmentanly friendly cuz it only takes 1 square of toilet paper!

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    • [–] 1 point 4 months ago

    its cocaine isnt it?

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