this post was submitted on 22 Jun 2023
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Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.

  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.

  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.

  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).

  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.

  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Curiosity aside:

Pooping happens when the body needs to eliminate undigested waste. Almost everything that is edible has some amount of indigestible material, but some has far less than others.

The other important factor is the stimulation of bile release. This usually happens in the presence of bitter foods: dark leafy greens, pickles and other fermented foods, ect. Fats are also known to stimulate bile release. Biles primary function actually is to break down fatty acids. Even if youve eaten mostly bio-available nutrients, if your gallbladder gets stimulated you could end up on the toilet anyway.

So if your goal is to avoid pooping for several days, your ideal diet will avoid fibrous and bitter fruits and vegetables, and avoid fatty foods.

If it were me, I would eat lean meats (chicken or venison), possibly dried into jerky, and simple fruits, or juiced vegetables and fruits. The less food you eat generally, the more you'll avoid building up waste in your intestines.

Just a heads-up: if your succeed in your goal and don't poop for several days, your first poop after can possibly be, erm, explosive. Your gallbladder will likely continue accumulating bile during your poop-fast, and the first thing you eat that stimulates it's release may flood your small intestines. So plan your first meal carefully!

God speed.

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Sherlock emerges from the shadows of his contemplation, his penetrating gaze alight with a glimmer of the mind's razor-edged acuity, dancing over the hushed assembly.

"Ah, a conundrum indeed! But the game is afoot, my good fellows. Let us untangle this web of mystery step by step."

He begins to pace, his long fingers steepled in front of him, his sharp gaze distant.

"Firstly, we must examine the peculiar constraints Mizu has imposed upon himself. He wishes to abstain from the natural act of defecation for three days, intending to consume food that occupies minimal space, while also reducing perspiration. He will stay in a well-equipped tent, with access to adequate sanitation should the need arise, yet he insists he will resist such necessity."

He stops, turning sharply on his heel to face the crowd, the dramatic swish of his coat filling the silence.

"Despite these restrictions, Mizu explicitly denies embarking on a hiking trip or attempting to smuggle contraband. Yet he is engaged in a journey of some kind, returning to his place of origin before embarking on the same route again."

He taps his forehead lightly, his gaze thoughtful.

"The desire to limit perspiration indicates a need to control body odor and moisture - potentially to avoid detection or discomfort. The same logic may apply to his endeavor to restrict bowel movement. This points to a need to stay confined in a small, potentially shared, space for extended periods."

He turns away, pacing once more as he traces the threads of the narrative.

"His choice of diet - minimal and compact - suggests a limited ability to dispose of waste. This, coupled with the significant investment in a large, air-conditioned tent, speaks of a measure of affluence, yet a necessity to live in a manner that does not align with this status."

He spins around, eyes gleaming with realization.

"Consider the pattern of his journey. It is repeated, yet with a sojourn at his original location - a pause that allows for the resumption of normal bodily function."

He points at the crowd, his voice ringing out with certainty.

"Mizu, my dear audience, is not embarking on a mere trip. He is engaging in a performance, a role that demands these unusual conditions. But what performance could that be? Think, ladies and gentlemen, of an endeavor that requires one to remain in a compact, enclosed space for days, sharing it perhaps with others, yet intermittently returning to a home base."

His voice drops to a hush, his eyes intense.

"A role that demands a significant investment in a temporary abode but necessitates confinement in close quarters. A role where control of bodily functions and odors becomes vital. And what is that role, you ask?"

He raises his arms, his voice echoing dramatically in the silence.

"Mizu, ladies and gentlemen, is partaking in a competitive reality television show or a similar endeavor. A program that demands participants to live in close proximity, often in limited spaces like a train compartment or a shared tent. This necessitates careful control over body functions to minimize discomfort. The mid-journey return to his origin represents a break in the filming schedule, allowing him to revert to his normal physiological routines before starting the second leg of the journey."

He sweeps his arm out, his eyes twinkling with a triumphant gleam.

"There you have it, my dear fellows. A peculiar request, indeed, but quite understandable under the unforgiving lens of reality television. Not as mundane as a hiking trip, not as nefarious as smuggling, but every bit as demanding."

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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago

Lemmy is good just because of this post

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nothing screams comedy quite like a man refusing to shit for three days.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

stop asking

Proceeds to then write a detailed timeline of the events that will occur. Either this is a joke or someone needs to be talked too by an adult and explained how the human body works.

Hey OP! Food In == Food Out

There’s no way around it.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago

In a survival situation, you can go a long time(weeks depending on how much body fat you have stored) without eating food. But- water is required.

Eating food, generally produces poop.

Vitamins, trail-mix, etc, can provide the required nutrients as well, while somewhat minimizing the amount of poop production.

Another note, it is possible to hold your poop for a very long time. Although, this can result in "Clogged pipes", which you do NOT want.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was here when this post happened.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just leaving a comment to remember I was there when the 3 day no poop thing happened

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago

OP confirmed as drug mule

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

OP I don't think this is what they meant when they said "don't be a party pooper"

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (13 children)

Some armies use cheese to reduce frequency of bowel movements.

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago

Its over, Lemmy is big enough to be its own thing now. This post proves it...

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I'm just glad I'm here to witness this lol

Anyways, wouldn't a liquid meal replacement do the trick? Something like Huel?

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm proud to make this comment my first ever interaction (post, comment, or vote) on Lemmy.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

The only thing that makes sense to me is that they are flying, not checking a bag and therefore they are unable to bring their poop knife.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (2 children)

my guess is they are either getting their butthole pierced or tattooed, but I know that OP won't confirm. THat's just my guess here. I really hope it's not something more gross than that, but I can't handle that.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago (3 children)

do you need to stay in a tent for 5 days to get your butthole tattooed?

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is like some bizzaro 90's sitcom. "Quick, I need your help to not poop for 3 days! No time to explain!"

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Just keep pushing it back inside when it tries to come out.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Guess you're visiting the Titanic shipwreck in a submarine...

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don't want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can’t take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

I mean, working overtime in Amazon is no shame

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (22 children)

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is where I would normally say !RemindMe in 3 days.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Keep that sphincter clenched tight! You got this.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (7 children)

I once survived 3 days without pooping at a festival. The secret was 15 liters of beer and ~ 9 cans of ravioli. But I peed A LOT.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just poop as much as possible before leaving. For three days you can fast, it’s very much doable.

I was here when the 3 days without pooping post dropped.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Just wanna say I was here when this became the first Lemmy meme

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (3 children)
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