Asklemmy

All the best; I did something like this before, although not on purpose, eating light and low fiber. When I finally pooped my poop had layers. Please don't make a habit out of it.

A small bottle of olive oil. It's very high calorie so it will keep you somewhat energized in small quantities. Consumed in small amounts you may be able to go three days without shitting.

I recommend eating a lot of cheese and absolutely NO fiber. Not sure if it will make you sweat less, but I'm pretty sure if I ate only cheese for 3 days, it wouldn't be too hard to wait till the end of it to poop. In fact, I may need some help at that point... maybe you should eat some fiber like a couple hours before you do plan on trying to poop, and also drink lots of water at that point, too. I personally find cheese very "helpful" in getting myself constipated, and fiber + water to be a great way to smoothen the pooping process.

Don't drink coffee then.

I don't even want to know the answer because it'll be less entertaining than lemmy's collective imagination.

As for the question: I think your biggest problem is going to be inducing a proper clearout shortly before you go on your trip. Maybe laxatives?

Edit: I just realized, is the reason you don't want to go despite having toiles available stuff like hemorrhoids or an anal fissure? Because if so, there are creams for that my friend.

Nut Butters: Peanut or almond butter in small jars or packets. They are calorie-dense and can be eaten in small quantities.

Crackers: Plain crackers are low in fiber and can be filling.

Cheese: Hard cheeses like cheddar can be easy on the stomach and don’t require refrigeration for short periods.

Protein Bars: Opt for bars that are low in fiber.

Dried Meat: Such as beef jerky, can be a good source of protein.

Nuts and Seeds: In moderation, these can be good sources of energy.

Bottled Water: You’ll need to stay hydrated, but since you mentioned you can’t pee very often, drink just enough to not feel thirsty.

Electrolyte packets or tablets: To keep your electrolyte balance in check without consuming too much liquid.

Godspeed!

Realistically, if you eat anything, you'll poop. Tail down your calorie intake to ~1000 calories at day -7, to -500 on days -6 and -5, then to 0 for days -4 through -1. Start eating again on day zero.

You won't have to poop during that time. Make sure to drink water, and i would add electrolytes to ensure you don't get any type of heart arrhythmia (unlikely on a fast this short, but intelligent anyway).

I don't know why you need to do this, but good luck. I've done week long fasts before and they're not too hard after the first couple of days. Ironically, eating well before the start makes it MUCH harder (you'd think it'd tide you over, but it just makes your body expect food) ... Hence, the tailing down over a couple days.

The only real answer is Pemmican.

Fast. Seriously. Drink just enough water to stay hydrated. Avoid diuretics like coffee and alcohol.

@mizu6079 Vinegar

i'm so confused. what do you need all of this for. why are you being so secretive. what could possibly be this dramatic

I'm so happy I can be a part of this historical moment.

I was here for the poop thing

Don't eat chipotle