this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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Atheist Memes

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 year ago (1 children)

May you be touched by his noodley appendage

[–] [email protected] 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Crying on the toilet at this rn

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Ah yes, Pascal's wager. "Fool stupid God with this one simple trick!"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

Came in here to mention Pascal's wager as well. Though the argument isn't so much to fool God as it is to basically slowly convert someone out of habit so it's more like "fool weak minded people with this one simple trick" lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

How about Pasta's wager?

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Can you imagine some dudes taking this literally and walking around with religious gear of literally every cult because "why not" lol

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Ah shit, that actually sounds like a neat concept for a D&D character.

"Why the hell do you have a talisman of Cyric?!"

"Just in case. 🤷🏻‍♂️"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Make it a Bard who wanted to be a Cleric but was indecisive about it and couldn't decide which Deity to worship, so he "worships" all of them. Just in case. Whenever he successfully casts Bard spells or rolls for a performance check, he praises a random deity. Has a whole keyring of talismans and holy symbols to pick from as needed. Stack as many proficiency bonuses on deception and persuasion as possible and convince the whole world he really is a Cleric.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

What have I got to lose? My mental freedom and my sanity. Those are kinda precious to me.

Also I decline to wear a metal colander on my head.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Heretic! may your pasta always boil either too soft and mushy or hard and chewy but never al dente again.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Oh no! Maybe I should renege my sacrilegious remarks and keep one foot in Pastafarianism "just in case."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Thats okay friend, do not allow the colander wearing heathens into your mind and heart. All true faithful know that the only proper grab is that of the pirate.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

What if I don’t like pasta? Will I still go to hell?

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You don't like pasta: you're already living in Hell

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can repent by drinking 6 jars of marinara (Prego is not acceptable)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Don't listen to this heathen, all who seek his noodles are welcome regardless of the sauce you choose... except those who misfits who eat the devil's cream based sauces.... May they give themselves neverending gastric distress.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Does carbonara count?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I watched the latest Pete Holmes special on Netflix and it was largely hilarious, but his section around atheism was misguided. I think he (and perhaps many others) have a misconception of what I (and perhaps many atheists) think.

It's not that I believe there definitely isn't any concept of a god or gods or supernatural blob creature outside of space and time that we cannot fathom, it's that the ones we've so fathomed so far are clearly man-made fiction.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I saw the same thing and had a similar thought. A lot of it comes down to a misunderstanding of the vocabulary. Implicit Atheism =/= Explicit Atheism =/= Agnosticism =/= Apathesim. Admittedly there are a lot of folks who say they are Atheists that are really kinda not Atheists at all b.c. they don't understand the words and never bothered to learn.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

FSM is good and all but I sold my soul to "Bob."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I was wondering where I got this spare soul from. You want it back?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

If he doesn't, maybe you can get some Slack out of it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Cast out the false "Bob"!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Do his spaghetti tendrils grow back? They look very tasty and I want to eat them.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I can always ask forgiveness on my deathbed and score points with the Christian version of God if he exists.

I dunno wtf I could do if any other gods turn out to be real; none of them have loopholes like Christianity... Maybe Dionysis would think I'm cool and allow me into Elysium. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Presumably my spaghetti?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Image Transcription: Meme


A meme depicting a flying spaghetti monster. The background is a city scene with a dark blue sky and black silhouette buildings. The weather is foggy and cloudy. The meme text reads

Top text: WHY NOT BELIEVE, JUST IN CASE?

Bottom text: WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fettuccine bolognese.

The sacrificial offerings are excessive