Perhaps the cure to male loneliness is men stepping up for men. As a former lost boy myself, I certainly would have appreciated it.
Now I mentor the shit out of juniors in my professional life.
“Dad, how do I” for those wondering.
I haven’t looked it up so idk the content but there’s also a “Mom, how do I”
The real MVP
The unfortunate reality is men like him are totally casted aside in favor of predators who'd rather take advantage of them, like Trump, Andrew Tate, or the rest of the Epstein class and aspiring Epstein class.
Capitalism favors the morally bankrupt dark triad personality types, and we're living to see that on full display. I greatly fear for what young Gen Alpha and Gen Beta will become, growing up in a world ruled by and glorifying such evil men.
It's because a good con man focuses on saying what people want to hear whenever possible. Makes them easy to manipulate.
Someone who actually wants to help you will tell you things that are hard to hear. Inconvenient truths. Sometimes we are not ready to hear them or accept them, and that's where the struggle is. It's the same as the concept of tough love in parenting (which for the record does not mean beating your children).
It's like Mr.Rodgers said. Look for the helpers.
He knew what the best people were made from. Kindness, understanding and compassion. If only that was a standard goal everywhere, maybe in a generation we could have some real progress.
Imagine an accepting world where it was okay to be you even if different but everyone accepted you regardless cause they wanted to see the best you. A silly dream to think of but one can hope.
For whatever reason, my parents never explicitly taught me how to floss. Now that my mother is elderly and needs help, I had the opportunity to observe her floss, and she did the most bizarre thing.
Rather than cut off a long length of floss before flossing, she held the container of floss in one hand and then flossed using only the little bit of floss needed at the time, kept pulling it out as she needed more, and then cut off the floss after flossing.
I couldn't decide if she was crazy or a genius, so I tried it myself. I still ended up using about the same amount of floss, but I think her method would be superior in the case where the floss broke during flossing. Otherwise, it's more of a hassle, so I don't do it. But I think if I was just used to flossing that way, it would have no downsides.
When I turned 35 years old, I worked up enough courage to ask my dentist how to floss
I only looked it up on the internet after observing my mother.
I admit that I wasn't exactly doing it perfectly, but I had gotten close from observing how the hygienist flossed me during my cleanings.
My mother came up with the most creative way to floss because I hated how it acts like a tourniquet on your fingers. You take the floss and tie it into a circle. It blew my little child's mind at the time.
And my father still doesn't floss to this day.
You made me think about how does a dental hygienist deal with tourniquet fingers all day, and I suspect that they have a way around it.
I don't know whether this is the correct solution, but I can think of two ways that they hold the floss differently to me. First, they wear gloves, which might protect against damage and provide more grip. Second, they tend to spiral the floss down their fingers, rather than create a complete circle of floss.
Maybe one of those things is an alternate solution. I'll probably give the spiral thing a go, but I'm probably not going to start wearing gloves to floss.
Oh I never noticed the spiral down the finger difference. Yeah that would spread the pressure over a large area.
I've been flossing with the circle for so long I find it the most comfortable and economic way of doing it by now.
My dad didn't teach me anything like this. He did, though, hand me down used items like an electric razor because he got a new one. He was a giant prick, but I don't think he was trying to be a shit dad, he just was! (And I'm gobsmacked how people do stuff like this without realising their consequences to other people). I now get to be the opposite now I'm a dad with a son.
Before we had the recent shift towards purposeful retraining of our own behaviours in popular culture, a lot of our parents were just working exclusively with what they were given, it's how they were trained to behave.
It's tragic really. My own dad was mildly absent because his dad left when he was maybe 3. My mum beat my sister and I because that's what her parents did to her.
It doesn't make it better, it doesn't excuse it. For my part, it makes me realise how this stuff happens, and why it's so important to examine your learned behaviours, and try your very hardest not to be those awful things that were forced on you.
Congrats! (On that last sentence, not the giant prick dad thing)
One of the biggest issues for young men is the lack of mentorship and role models. It is cool to see someone pass some life skills.
As I've grown older I have felt regret about not stepping into a mentor role like this. I genuinely don't think I'm the person to do it, nor do I consider myself capable.
Aww, no reason to regret being who you are 🤗 good for you that you know your weaknesses and who you are, takes a lot to do so!
I'm not sure about that. In general I do feel as if I don't contribute nearly enough to society in order to make it a better place.
Goddamn right.
Don't pass on the family curse, be the cure to what causes it.
A good person does what they can to spread goodness in the world, not because they expect or desire a reward, but because it is right.
Its about different attitude, everyone has the chance to step up; but wallowing or taking a selfish attitude seems to prevail. Why teach others when I can hustle for self interest and ego?
Influence for an online market could have been great but monetization made it a cancer.
Shaving ain't it, dawg
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