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submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

Reposting a question I saw on reddit like a decade ago. My favorite answer I read was, "I'd take my 100 dogs home and live like a king."

Personally, I have two cats, Sansa and Shere Khan. For both, I could significantly narrow down the options by seeing which cats meowed at me the most. (I swear I didn't teach them to yell, but here we are.) For both, I could bring in a dog to discern which cats weren't scared of dogs. For Sansa, I could wait until dinnertime and put down some wet food, then see who hems and haws about eating it despite having screamed for it. That might not be enough to get it down to just one each, but oh well. I could use 5 or 10 more cats.

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, it's easy. Mine is the one cat who is picking constant fights with all the other cats. For the amount of love and affection this guy has for human, he has the identical in size hatered for other cats, especially if they look like him

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Kika: raise the palm of my hand threateningly, and start saying things like "nojenta" (disgusting), "jaguara" (sly), "cachaceira" (drunkard), "chata" (boring) etc. Most cats will go away. Kika will however come closer and turn her butt towards me, as if saying "slap it".

Siegfrieda: start speaking in German. No, seriously. She actually identifies when I'm speaking in Portuguese or in German, and if it's the later she immediately thinks it's something with her. Good luck finding 99 cats with a bent mouth and a protruding fang, though.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I'll do the "Ku" pose from the movie Kindzaza a couple of times and the dog will come running to jump around me. For some reason, he loves it when I do that.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I honestly can't think of anything better than being in a room with 100 Boxer dogs.

At the end, the sofa and blanket would have to be huge to fit us all on it, though.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

My cockatiel is the only one in this hypothetical flock that would scream my name, when any nearby human gets into an argument.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

My cat can do tricks. So I’d just make him do them and take him back home

[-] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I taught my cat tricks. So it would be the one who would shake my hand for a treat. My cat also is a coward, so would check the wallflowers first.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

My cat would be in a corner, or hiding under a sofa. It's feral, blind, deaf, and wary of everything and everyone. If it managed to recognise me, it would give a dismissive twitch of the tail and/or take a swipe at me.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

If I say "it's here" she'll run towards any window to bark.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Stand their till mine comes and jumps on me. She lives with my family most of the time so she gets very excited every time I see her.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

So I'm in a room with 100 cats, one of which pesters me for love and affection about a thousand times a day. I could just sit down and wait for her to come over and scream like she's in immense pain as she usually does. If that didn't work I'd clap my hands and look around. The room should look something like this

😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳☺️😳😳😳 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

because she knows me and is used to me being noisy sometimes.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Easy - I wouldn't. Especially since it would just be an empty room.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I would call my cat and the one that walked up to me stopped a arms reach away would be mine.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Oh he would find me. Classic hide and seek

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Completely heuristic and I would never be entirely sure I have the same one; however, like others have said I'd just have 100 pets. I wish I could afford that and have enough space for that.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I haven’t got any pets now, but for the last pet I had, it would’ve been easy. I mentioned in another comment on here recently that she used to attack/eat dandelions.

I could’ve held up a fluffy, white dandelion and waited to see which pup came over to chomp it.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

I dunno, statistically speaking, there's gotta be a few more dandelion eaters in that group of 100

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I do a simple tongue click twice and wait. My cats all understand what the 2 clicks means.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

One has obvious visible signs from a rough past, plus she makes unique Chewbacca sounds and hops like a kangaroo/faints like a goat when excited. The other would tackle me and not leave my side.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I would first try to spray all dogs with a water hose.. all who play or chill are eliminated. Then I would bring them to a lake. Mine would be the first in the water.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I would try to walk. That would instantly make our one cat sprint to my feet to get directly under and infront of them.

For the other cat saying “soft food” would work. She’ll come screaming and expect to be served. Lord help me if I don’t have food on me though.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Each of my cats has a specific strange trait that I would look for.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

My dog comes to click noises like a horse

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

With one of my dogs, I'll look for the dog that does exactly what I say when I say it. For the other, I will look for the dog that completely ignores everything I say.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

My cat would find me

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

i literally had a nightmare about this and it really stressed me out

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Put down their favorite box and start trying to pet cats. The one that slinks away rapidly to the box and gets bitey/swatty if you put your hands near is her :)

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Wet food?"

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Just give them commands, that aren't their name. Both my cat and dog do an assortment of tricks and are very food motivated.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Yes. I have a unique whistle that she would immediately respond to.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I know his meow.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Vegetables that normal dogs don't like.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

I refer to my 2 dogs as "my children" all the time, to the point that when I'm calling them both in from outside, I throw open the door and shout "Children!" Or when they're being annoying, I'm like "Children, stop!"

So I would just have to shout the word "Children!" And they'd come to me.

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

@Balerion She responds to her heads-up noise. She also complains when I pick her up (even after she's asked to be picked up).

[-] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

Sit down and try to eat a snack. The cat that ends up about 2 inches in front of my face purring while trying to steal my food and gnaw on my nose is mine

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

How identical are we talking? Moles all the same place?

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

His soft little meows. I'd try to mimic his "Outside" button, and see which one comes running and beseeches me with the most pathetic whining. To confirm I'd pick him up and see if he makes a dramatic, offended meow.

[-] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago

I wouldn't want to but I'm guessing...smell their butts?

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

I mean the one that follows me the most.

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Do that little side-mouth click.

"chk chk" means food and they know it

edit: Cats are trainable AF with sound cues. Ever time I opened the front door I did a twee-twee-twee whistle with my teeth. It taught them that when they hear that sound, it's the opportunity to go out or come in. If I wanted to call them home I'd open the door and do the distinctive whistle, within 10 minutes they'd be hovering at the front looking to come in

[-] [email protected] 1 points 2 weeks ago

Depends which one, escorting me around, flopping over and not leaving til I’ve scratched the shit out of him, or mithering for food would be solid indicators though.

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this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2025
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