Ask Lemmy

What's New Pussycat? - Tom Jones

I play the Ghostbusters theme at every bar within WiFi range (4 If I stand on the right corner) using the TouchTunes app on my phone about once a month. I stand there on the corner and queue it up 4 times at each bar and pay extra so that it cannot be skipped. I don't precisely know what reactions it gets out of the crowd. For all I know the bartenders are on to me and just unplug the speakers for the duration of the 4 songs. But in my mind, I imagine it really annoys people. Not sure why I do it.

Edit: The thing I like to imagine most is somebody getting fed up, leaving, walking down the block to another bar and hearing it before even getting in the door. Delicious.

What’s new pussycat - John Mulaney has a bit about doing just that

Echoes by Pink Floyd. Mostly because it’s 23 minutes long. So if the jukebox doesn’t take total track time into account when leering you pick, you can eat an entire hour of playtime with only three credits.

People will be okay with the first play. The song is dynamic enough that it doesn’t feel overly repetitive. Then the second one starts, and people start to go “wow I don’t remember the song being this long.” By the time the second one has wrapped up, some people have clued in. Then the third one rolls around, and people are ready for something that isn’t Echoes, but you still have another 23 minutes to go.

Call me maybe, that shit is a massive ear worm and seems to annoy a whole generation.

The 20 minute track of Arlo Guthrie talking about Alice's Restaurant might be a decent pick.

Baby shark in repeat. People''d probably start fighting each other pretty soon.

If I wanted to annoy an entire bar, I wouldn't limit it to a single song. You gotta judge the vibe of the bar first. Biker bar? Death metal might be welcomed there. Some young college bar with a bunch of yuppie-barely-legal-to-drink kids, they might not enjoy it. With that, pick a theme. Biker bar? Hit 'em with the full Kidz Bop compilation. Young college bar? Maybe the death metal, or something classical.

Achilles, Agony and Ecstasy in Eight Parts by by Manowar

A 28-and-a-half-minute hair metal song that is a retelling of The Iliad. It even has an extended drum solo.

If someone can hang with this track, they are a true gem of a person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0AnLvPs6JE

something like Cotton Eye Joe by Rednex?

Surfing Bird

Family Guy - Bird is the Word

I was bouncing at a bar in college when Lady Gaga was first getting huge, and we had a touchtunes that would play two songs for a dollar. So, sorority girls would come in put a dollar in, and play one lady gaga song and one other popular song at the time. It seemed like every third or fourth song was lady gaga. Being a sober person amongst drunk people playing the same songs all night long was getting on my nerves.

Lucky for me, there was a bar top game machine that also had touch tunes worked into the system. And, even luckier for me, I could play next for a dollar instead of the usual two dollars.

Every time lady gaga played, I'd put a dollar into the bar top console and I'd play next Hall & Oates "Rich Girl". Yes, I'd probably lose money most of my tip out doing this, but it was worth it for me.

Took a couple nights for my manager to catch on, and he got a kick out of it. And it went on like this for a month or so until he got annoyed with it and told me to knock it off. Which I mostly did, but I'd still do it a couple times a night.

The best part for me was some sorority girl who asked her group of friends when my song came on, "what's with this song playing all the time?"

I once pissed off the owner of a bar who was being a dick to my friend who worked there by playing "Hammer Smashed Face" by Cannibal Corpse 5 times in a row. It's really heavy death metal and was abrasive to most of his customers.

Was having dinner in Janesville, WI one night. Someone pulled up Kid Rock's All Summer Long on repeat, it had played like 20 times by the time we left. Every time it started again, someone in the bar would shout "FUCK!"

Elvira - The Oakridge Boys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGKatCAQed0

I know this from experience because when this song was fairly new, we were eating in a Pizza Hut and a kids Little League team came in after their game and proceeded to occupy a good portion of the restaurant. I swear every damn one of those kids had a quarter for the jukebox and every one of them picked that song. And if that wasn't bad enough, they all just had to frickin' sing along with it on top of that! I remember a couple of those little turds waving their arms like conductors...

Play a whole album in a row. One time my buddy and I queued up all of Dark Side of the Moon at a pool hall. Obviously some people loved it and some didn't... :-)

Alternate between tracks of Oasis's (What's the Story) Morning Glory? and a chronological listing of Weird Al polka medleys.

Sweet Caroline - play it 4-5 times on repeat, then give someone false hope by throwing something in the middle before you hit them with another 4x repeat. We did this at a local ice cream shop in high school and it convinced the staff the machine was defective. They unplugged it for a few months afterward.

I normally put on Englebert Humperdinck please release me as I'm leaving.

Fagget fairies - feed the horse, a lot of people hate that song with a passion.

https://youtu.be/ra1mikwlEwY?si=_1D2FEULztsTZmTx

Serge Gainsbourg & Jane Birkin: Je t'aime

https://youtu.be/GlpDf6XX_j0

If it's a jukebox linked up to Spotify, Rock and Roll McDonalds

Achy Breaky Heart or The Macarena would be my go tos!

I'm Too Shy Hush Hush Eye to Eye

Goodbye Sober Day by Mr. Bungle. That ending usually turns some heads.

This one: https://youtu.be/GO397hnMi2w?feature=shared

The Closing Song - Red Peters

Clarence Carter - Strokin'

Karaoke isn't a competition but, if it were, you would win singing this one.

Duel of the Fates from Star Wars Episode I.

My friend the witch doctor

Meathook sodomy

Anything by abba