It sucks, but just ask for numbers or emails

Don't worry, I handed out my Instagram to some people who requested it and those connections fizzled out just as easily.

Could be down to me only ever checking it on a designated laptop once a week, but in my opinion, if it comes down to an Instagram account and regular app access, can't even exchange SMS numbers to text, then it's already a tenuous connection.

Funny enough, I didn't even make my own Instagram account. My friend really wanted me to be on Instagram so he went ahead, made it under my name, and handed me the keys. You probably can't do this nowadays due to security checks, unless you're Meta making a shadow profile kinda like my friend did for me. I'm just sitting on the shadow profile that would exist anyway, trying to contribute as little as possible.

it feels too personal to ask for someone number when I just met them

Signal usernames invalidate the phone number argument.

yeah i feel you. I'm in a band, so instagram is basically a necessity for promotion and communication. getting the word out about shows, other bands will message me for gigs etc

just try to use it a little as possible, and try to lock it down as much as possible in the os. you can do alot in the android app settings.

basically treat it as you would having a conversation near a security camera.

Privacy is subjective. Use it but dont use it for things you don't want Facebook to know about. Don't use it on your phone. Don't use it on a computer with things you care about. Keep it in a container tab in your browser but don't keep it open all the time.

It's kind of a pain but you can definitely be mindful and only give meta crumbs where others are giving them truckloads of data.

Sadly there is a lot of good content on Instagram

same, i just say I don't do instagram and tell them my local whatsapp equivalent's id or phone number. I've tried using instagram a few times but it can't be used anonymously at all.

Anyone have any advice?

• Ask them for their number, and see how it goes? Worst case, they will say 'no', end of the story. Maybe the will ask why you don't have IG and that will be the start of an interesting conversation.
• Try to meet different kind of people? I mean it seriously. I know a lot of people around me who have IG/Facebook/X and so on but at the same time none of them make it a requirement to use it.
• Use a second phone/number for that crap content only? I barely use my 'real' phone (I have nothing installed on it beside what I'm required to use) still I do own a second phone just so I can easily share a number with all the services and various craps that ask for one. It's a phone I never answer to, despite it being constantly harassed by callers. And that peace of mind (my real number is almost spam free) only costs me the 2€/month (plus the phone, I purchased used). You should be able to do something similar for social networks: have a second phone without anything personal on it, just with IG.
• Accept that you're doomed to use IG because it's with those 'IG people' and no others you want to spend your time with? I like to spend time with people reading books, it's kinda expected we indeed read books. Would I not like to read, I would not spend as much time with them.

I would just make an IG account if it's being a large obstacle, you probably don't have to install the app as you can do most things through the web browser.

Find a way to use Instagram to drive them to another app, like this: https://lemmy.world/post/21620691

Anyone have any advice?

Yes: recognize what you’re trying to accomplish and change your actions.

Privacy requires shutting people out of your life. Meeting new people requires letting people into your life.

If people expect that the first “gate” into your life is your social media then meet that expectation. Have a social media presence. Post shit that you want people to see on it.

If you’re afraid of letting the companies that operate social media see your life, examine why. It may be that you’re perfectly fine with the trade off of a limited hang out in exchange for looking normal. Most people are.

It doesn’t have to be instagram. You could have a snapchat or a tiktok or whatever.

Gonna be real with you, if you're in the US and wanna connect with pretty ladies you pretty much have to have insta or messenger. If they are devout apple heads they might wanna do iMessage but as I don't use apple products I can't speak to that. I personally don't want anyone to have my phone number. I have signal, messenger, whatsapp, Kik, WeChat, and discord because I travel a lot and I have contacts on all of them. People prefer social media so they can remember you, your interests, things you say publicly, and use that to help decide if they wanna hang.

What about email? Just create a new one just for this stuff. Go back to giving out just an email. Everyone has one of those too and it's not as 'archaic' as a phone#

If it's such an obstacle for social life, I'd just give in and make an account. Given the alternative is "exchanging phone numbers" (with the intent to text or call, presumably) I'd say Instagram is no worse privacy-wise - both offer absolutely no privacy protection. If a phone number is required to register (I don't know if it is), I'd get a bootleg sim specifically for it. I would treat all communications on any proprietary platform (even 1-on-1) as though they are happening in public (Twitter-style). Avoid using apps if at all possible as they have more access to your device. If that's not possible, at least do not give those apps any permissions, however hard they are trying to eek them out of you. Do not use it for anything but chatting with your acquaintances - merely looking at your feed, even without any explicit interactions like opening a post, gives Meta a lot of data about you.

If the connection moves on from "acquaintance" to "friendship", perhaps try pushing them towards a better platform - I recommend Matrix as it is federated (unlike Signal), and has pretty nice clients/UX nowadays (unlike Tox and XMPP), and is e2e-encrypted (unlike almost everything else).

Are you meeting people 15 years ago?? We've known everything mark zuckerberg touches is trying to kill you for money for a long time.

Make a pixelfed, people want to know you we ask for IG