If you call mortadella hotdogs again I will personally be very mad at you

God, my brother in law once ate pounds of shitty grocery store salami in one sitting while complaining the entire time about how it was going to fuck him up digestively and with everyone including me around him telling him to just fucking stop and still complains about what he accurately predicted to this day.

Bologna is just a city in Italy.

I still remember when, as a child, I realized that Oscar Mayer hot dogs are just boiled bologna sticks.

And hamburgers are steaks for people who don't like to cut their food.

for flat wursters

Don't move. An Italian F-35 is approaching your location.

Damn. This is about as eye opening as when I realized American tacos are just reconfigured cheeseburgers.