this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2025

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156

What is you opinion on the parents who tell their kids to "keep your head down" and "don't cause troubles" such as "being a dissident" or "going to protests"? (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 1 week ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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This is literally my parents. They told me to stop criticizing the people in power, even going as far as saying I shouldn't criticize the government of my former country. I don't even have citizenship in my former country anymore, not sure how I could even get in trouble for criticizing is effecively a foreign country to me. (I'm talking about PRC btw).

My mom told me to "just focus on improving your own life and stop worrying about things like you can't control like politics" (as in, both the politics of my former country and the politics of my current country)

Am I in the wrong here? Should I just keep quiet and not say anything so that I don't "get in trouble"?

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's hard to say without knowing what country you're in now. PRC is an undemocratic system to be embraced, escaped, or endured, but so are PRK, Iran, and a bunch others

OTOH, Canada or the USA were designed on the assumption that you'd agitate for the form of government. If you're in either one, especially if you're a citizen, you should definitely argue for the government you want.

The rest of the world is an interesting mix of "started undemocratic, embraced democracy" to "started democratic, embraced autocracy."

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

It’s hard to say without knowing what country you’re in now.

I didn't want to say because I'm not sure if this violates rule 6 of this community, but I'm currently in the USA as a Derivative Citizen from my mother's Naturalization when I was under 18, which make me automatically a US Citizen. My father and my grandmother (who lives with us, in the USA) are PRC Citizens with legal US permanent residency.

But, to the Mods: This question is aimed at the general audience around the world, so it's not intended to be "US Politics".

I'm guessing maybe my mother didn't want my father and other relatives in China to get in trouble? 🤔

But I don't think they are looking at some anonymous Lemmy account, right?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 week ago

My father and my grandmother (who lives with us, in the USA) are PRC Citizens with legal US permanent residency.

"Permanent" residency just means there is not currently a specific intent to revoke their status. It does not mean that they are immune from the immigration witch-hunt currently sweeping the US. More than a few "permanent residents" have been deported, most for simply pissing off someone empowered to use deportation in retaliation.

But I don't think they are looking at some anonymous Lemmy account, right?

Your account is currently "anonymous". But everything you post is online, and documented forever. What happens 6 months down the road, when your anonymity is pierced, and your name is permanently tied to your past acts? Have you said or done anything that would lead the head narcissist-in-charge to think you don't like him?

My advice would be to focus your activist energy on long-term, local issues. Lobby for public transportation, school funding, homeless shelters, victim assistance, bike paths, free clinics, legal aid, Habitat for Humanity, or any of a thousand other worthy causes with broad, positive effects for the community. You don't have to keep your head down, just stick it out where it will do the most good. We don't need more evidence of the current regime's malfeasance; we do need good people focused on what happens after they are out of office.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

If there're family in the PRC, they could certainly be on the hook if you're spotted at events Beijing deems sensitive (things to do with Taiwan, Xinjiang, Tibet, the '89 Massacres, 66-77, etc.)

I'd also reckon that your family grew up either with direct experience of, or in the spectre of, the Cultural Revolution. The psychic damage of that can not be understated.

It' s also that the social contract in China is very different to that of the US and Anglophone/European culture countries.

There are valid, logical, reasons for your family's point of view. But it is also a viewpoint that is willing to tolerate a bad society in order for an adequate life personally.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

There's very little upside to attending a protest in the PRC, and a huge downside (cfr. 1986). The calculation is different in the US, obviously, although Trump is potentially changing this as well. They're just using their past experience and they're trying to keep you safe.

You just need to make a decision for yourself, are you willing to go to a protest now, potentially be imprisoned, deported to China, or do you just focus on getting a job and hoping it blows over. In a lot of ways it's a prisoner's dilemma: if you're only a small group protesting, you'll be crushed and nothing will change. If everyone's protesting and organising some kind of resistance that can't be ignored, you can win. The tricky part is making everyone come to the same conclusion at the same time to maximise chances of success.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

Schindler didn't criticize the people in power and it helped him save many lives.

Being effective is more important than being performative.

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[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

don't listen to them if it conflicts with what you feel is necessary, listen to your heart

you have to live with your self

edit: if you don't have a western nickname/alias that you go by in public, you should probably pick one up. find groups to protest with that are more westerns and avoid people with strong ties back to your parents homeland

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Are you the person who was born in China then moved while super young to the US? If I remember correctly a few posts back you were arguing for not watching to upset either country for your parents exact reasoning. It’s not hard to understand your immigrant family wanting to play it safe :)

If you’re and your family are US citizens and rarely travel to China there would be few repercussions from critique but what do you hope to achieve other than getting yourself onto a list?

For America, if you all are all full US citizens than you’re safer if you’re not. If anyone is not a citizen even a green card holder you should shut up yesterday.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

While I can see where they're coming from. I'm sure they want you to just be safe.

That said, it's a terrible idea. How will anyone know how many people hate the current government, if no one speaks up about it. Sure, it can be risky, and the governments most worth speaking up against are usually the ones where it's the most dangerous, but they're usually the ones that more people hate.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Depends on the extent of how much you'd do and if you'd get noticed, really. Leverage being applied against you or your parents could occur, particularly to or via relatives in China, but only if you're deemed worth the effort. I wouldn't take that risk, personally, but that's a very specific, individual decision.

The US is another matter. Sure you'll go on a list but everyone's on a list of one kind or another, we're both on one for using Lemmy most likely.

Would there be any validity in your parents thinking your concerns about this are getting in the way of improving your own life?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

i think they mean well but are misguided for the most part

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

It’s good advice for certain reasons and bad advice for others. It also depends on your situation, especially in these times in the US. If you’re a US citizen you might have more freedom to stand up for yourself and others than if you’re an immigrant.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 week ago

Fuck them.

In the metaphorical way.

Don't have sex with them.

Don't listen to them, you'll regret it. No you're not in the wrong, they are, but everyone and their cousin will disagree because theyre cowards who don't want to make their lives harder.

Imagine living 100 years in Germany and being worried about politics and your mom going "just keep your head down".

Cowards. The lot of them.

By my estimation non-cowards are about 1/50.

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