The opposite of a suicide vest.
NonCredibleDefense
A community for your defence shitposting needs
Rules
1. Be nice
Do not make personal attacks against each other, call for violence against anyone, or intentionally antagonize people in the comment sections.
2. Explain incorrect defense articles and takes
If you want to post a non-credible take, it must be from a "credible" source (news article, politician, or military leader) and must have a comment laying out exactly why it's non-credible. Low-hanging fruit such as random Twitter and YouTube comments belong in the Matrix chat.
3. Content must be relevant
Posts must be about military hardware or international security/defense. This is not the page to fawn over Youtube personalities, simp over political leaders, or discuss other areas of international policy.
4. No racism / hatespeech
No slurs. No advocating for the killing of people or insulting them based on physical, religious, or ideological traits.
5. No politics
We don't care if you're Republican, Democrat, Socialist, Stalinist, Baathist, or some other hot mess. Leave it at the door. This applies to comments as well.
6. No seriousposting
We don't want your uncut war footage, fundraisers, credible news articles, or other such things. The world is already serious enough as it is.
7. No classified material
Classified ‘western’ information is off limits regardless of how "open source" and "easy to find" it is.
8. Source artwork
If you use somebody's art in your post or as your post, the OP must provide a direct link to the art's source in the comment section, or a good reason why this was not possible (such as the artist deleting their account). The source should be a place that the artist themselves uploaded the art. A booru is not a source. A watermark is not a source.
9. No low-effort posts
No egregiously low effort posts. E.g. screenshots, recent reposts, simple reaction & template memes, and images with the punchline in the title. Put these in weekly Matrix chat instead.
10. Don't get us banned
No brigading or harassing other communities. Do not post memes with a "haha people that I hate died… haha" punchline or violating the sh.itjust.works rules (below). This includes content illegal in Canada.
11. No misinformation
NCD exists to make fun of misinformation, not to spread it. Make outlandish claims, but if your take doesn’t show signs of satire or exaggeration it will be removed. Misleading content may result in a ban. Regardless of source, don’t post obvious propaganda or fake news. Double-check facts and don't be an idiot.
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Homicide vest
A fuck you and all them mother fuckers too vest
Well, it’s actually a suicide vest. The recoil of all these mini canons would crush your ribcage.
And as you need to aim with own body before dying and possibly miss your shots, it’s actually a pretty bad suicide vest.
Clearly what you need to do to avoid the recoil is mount the guns on a solid metal hoop like structure around your chest, and have a matching set in the back to balance the forces. One pull of the trigger and you ruin everybody's day.
Adolf Tittler
There's actually 20.
*unzips.
The only way to stop a bad guy with 19 guns is a good guy with 19 guns
leans rocking chair all the way back
Preparing to engage maximum range!
Jesse duck!
Would you still love me if I was a grenade?
a classic conundrum. Which would you rather fight?
One guy with 19 guns or 19 guys with one gun? 🤔
Are we talking movie logic where all 19 of them inexplicably take turns one at a time instead of just overwhelming me?
Movie logic. Also known as gay-bar logic.
Well, they have to share the gun.
THERE WAS A FIRE FIIIIGHT!
Sleeping with those has to be uncomfortable.
The man who sleeps with a battery of nipple guns is a fool every night but one.
Might want a reduction down to 9.
Herr Colonel Heinrich Gesundheit.
Anyone else want a bagel?
I don't think I could keep up all of them at the same time ... my tickie ticker would just give up, the bullets would just lazily drool to the ground.
Capone Bege?
He misses at least one spot to mount another gun: