951
Parenthood failure (lemmy.world)
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[-] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 212 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

"Okay honey, it's really cool that you're Gay and all. But could you, like... Go back in the closet and come out again? It's for something that's very important to me" 🥺

[-] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 163 points 2 years ago

This man will never take a shower in peace without being haunted by this memory

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 29 points 2 years ago

You mean “shake a tower”. 🤦‍♂️

[-] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Is that an euphemisms for masturbation?

[-] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

No. It’s a dad way of saying take a shower, by switching the first two letters of each word.

Edit: another one is the fit has hit the shan, which is a less vulgar way of saying the shit has hit the fan.

[-] Hobthrob@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Guess I still need to work on my own dad jokes, as mine apparently went "whoosh" right there.

[-] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

It will be on his tombstone.

[-] NOT_RICK@lemmy.world 57 points 2 years ago

Homie has the opportunity to ascend to a higher plane of dadhood and completly blew it

[-] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 44 points 2 years ago

You should turn in the dad card immediately, the offices are open 9-3. The regulations were clearly defined - no exceptions.

[-] RandomStickman@fedia.io 28 points 2 years ago

Probably need to buy a few pairs of New Balance and khakis for redemption

"You are a father but we do not grant you the rank of 'Dad'."

[-] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 years ago

Devastating.

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

Are you sure you're even her dad?

[-] gmtom@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Man needs a paternity test ASAP

[-] moosetwin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 2 years ago

gonna have to take your dad classes again

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Task failed successfully

[-] mavu@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 years ago

In a similar situation, i just looked at my wife and said "you owe me 5€."

this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
951 points (97.7% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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