I'm not a parent, but going by pop culture, it seems like literally every child has the same fears.

In pre-modern times, I imagine that they'd be sleeping in the same room as the parents, but if modern notions of privacy don't permit that, seems we could at least design an enclosed capsule or something.

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[–] 129 points 3 years ago (4 children)

If we eliminate the children, then children’s rooms would simply just be rooms

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  • [–] 78 points 3 years ago (13 children)

    Not a psychologist or anything but isnt it healthy for a child to overcome a fear and not just avoid it

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  • [–] [S] 18 points 3 years ago (12 children)

    Also not a psychologist, but I would say that's only true if the fear keeps them from enjoying life

    As adults, we design our living spaces to be comfortable to us. We don't intentionally make them scary so we can overcome.

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  • [–] 65 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    We did for my daughter. She then got scared of door knobs because they "had eyes". They find something else lol

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  • [–] 58 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    I think fear is an important part of our development, and sanitizing children's upbringings is rarely the best approach. I love when my child communicates that they're afraid of something because that gives me an opportunity to guide them through how to encounter and process that fear, and how to continue functioning in life when fear is present (which is always for a lot of people).

    Also, for kids who are scared of their closet or under their bed at night, if you remove those triggers I would be surprised if other triggers did not arise. It could easily turn into a never ending game of whack a mole.

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  • [–] 36 points 3 years ago (3 children)

    "Bran thought about it. ‘Can a man still be brave if he’s afraid?’ ‘That is the only time a man can be brave,’ his father told him."

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  • [+] 55 points 3 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 child)
  • [–] 9 points 3 years ago

    Similar goes for picky eating. Few things are tasty by default, but most tastes are acquired by repeated exposure to new cuisine.

    I'm still getting used to clams, snails, slugs, and calamari. Went from gag reflex and unable to swallow to capable of eating but not savouring in a few months time.

    And again with fears, it's not that dark voids have become less dangerous or fearful, it's just that I have checked enough voids to not be immediately alarmed.

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  • [–] 33 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Maybe we don't need to round every sharp corner we can find. I doubt anyone is traumatized for life because there was a closet in the room as a child.

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  • [–] 28 points 3 years ago (2 children)

    Kids are afraid of being alone in the dark. The monster under the bed or in the closet is just how they communicate their fear.

    I had a room similar to what you suggested. No big closets and an elevated bed. But I still got scared sometimes. And the only things that helped were being in a well lit room and or not being alone.

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    [–] 22 points 3 years ago*

    My 1st thought is that we may need these minor fears to learn how to deal with fear itself and as part of developmemt they'll likely just be a fraid of something different instead.

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  • [–] 21 points 3 years ago (4 children)

    Did you forget about your teenage years? Teenagers want their own space to hide their uhhh stuff.

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  • [–] 17 points 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) (2 children)

    It is an opportunity to bind with your child. Make them face their fears playfully. Probably will strenghten its braverity.

    Also, any matress needs air circulation beneath below it. Otherwise it will get warm, stinky and very dirty.

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    [–] 10 points 3 years ago

    i dont know a single child who has the same fears kids in movies do

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  • [–] 10 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Eliminate closets?

    Anyway no, not every child has these fears. Mine don’t. They sleep in pitch darkness and have never complained.

    But you deal with a lot of weird fears and hang ups with kids. Not by accommodating them but by helping the kid grow out of them.

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  • [–] 7 points 3 years ago

    One of the ways one can grow out of a fear is by accommodating it enough in a passive way that it's forgotten about. Lighting up the back of a closet or under a bed for even a couple of months with a battery-powered nightlight (if there is no outlet available) could easily be enough for a kid to overcome it. Not in every situation, of course, but I think in enough that it could be worth a try.

    I do agree that changing the entire space like that is too much though.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 years ago (5 children)

    I did actually the opposite, unintentionally. But worked. My daughter never had a problem with a dark void somewhere. She loved to hide there.

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  • [–] 8 points 3 years ago

    I always told my kids the monsters were in the closet not under the bed. I also introduced them to hand puppets named chewy and Bytee. They were monster ostrich that lived in the closet, there favorite food is my kids which they nip at and the kids all have found it hilarious over the years. Also there was a monkey that slept in the closet when the zoo was closed. I told the kids I was renting out the closet space. Have three kids 13, 11, 4 none of them were ever afraid of the closet or under the bed. Any hint that they thought something was in the closet and I would go full conspiratorial and confirm there is “something” in the closet. That always seemed to work well apposed to denying their fears.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    I was afraid that I'd die in my sleep. Not like from health issues. Monsters or something unknown that only existed when I was alone in the dark. To a later age than I'd prefer to share.

    Fuck, all right, I got over it last week. /s but the rest was true.

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    [–] 6 points 3 years ago

    When you buy a house, closets are just there. You could take the doors off, I suppose, but closets are just a thing. As for the void under the bed, that is a feature and not a bug. Yes, it may allow for a fear of what's under the bed. It's also an inherent defense against the actual bugs on the floor that would otherwise crawl up the child's bed.

    Basically, the answer isn't to change the standard child's bedroom but to instead work around it. Take the doors off the closet if it scares them. Check under the bed every night and maybe put their "bravest" stuffed animals under there for protection. But rooms are rooms. Blocking off a closet and putting the kid's mattress on the floor is not the answer lol.

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  • [–] 6 points 3 years ago

    An enclosed capsule just brings on another fear: fear of closed spaces. Too open and it's fear of open spaces.

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  • [–] 5 points 3 years ago

    Because we are free to design the space and most peopoe don't design rooms with that in mind.

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  • [–] 4 points 3 years ago

    Kid: I'm afraid of Vegetables.

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  • [–] 3 points 3 years ago* (3 children)

    I can’t speak to closets, but I’ve heard of Montessori beds being placed directly on the floor. That’d at least eliminate monsters under the bed. I say that as a parent of a child with a bed raised above the floor…

    For me, we need the space under the bed for clothing storage. One of the drawbacks of having 2 adults and 2 children in a 2 bedroom home. We need all of the closet and storage space we can get.

    Edit: I went off on a tangent there. Definitely get what you’re suggesting.

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    [–] 3 points 3 years ago

    It's a question of resources you have and what you think children should learn to do to grow.

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  • [–] 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

    Let's put a void in every dark corner. I'm never scared with cats around.

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