cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/2757154

tag thyself

just hanging out in Kḧzk, exporting my precious ores

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[–] 37 points 2 years ago* (2 children)

There's a lot of great stuff here, but for some reason the thing that completely broke me is having "Desert Island", a small isle with nothing but sand and a single palm tree, in the middle of lush, green islands.

I'm sure that, if a river was drawn into this map, it would be a ten-headed abomination originating from nothing, going uphill through the mountains, and connecting one side of the ocean to the other.

(Also "Nopon" being an almost 1:1 transposition of Japan, but "Retro Tokyo" is in the wrong place lmao)

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    The Desert Island is where all the shipwrecked sailors get washed up. This is the result of all ocean currents in the Tepid and Warm seas eventually converging there. If you miss the exit you go right past into the Giant Whirlpool of Hydrodynamic Implausibly.

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  • [–] 25 points 2 years ago

    This is actually a lot of work put into a supposedly generic map.

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  • [–] 18 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Loth-plagiarien

    Lmao! This map is unreasonably funny.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago

    As the son of a deceased blacksmith from Quainthamlet, a small settlement near Townsburg, I have taken my amateur hand-crafted sword and am on the way to Camenot to find my destiny; most likely reaching my limits many times and overcoming them (just) with the help of my trusty companions and the burning hope and power of friendship that lies within me.

    Or I'll just die, because my sword is crap and I'm a noob.

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  • [–] 16 points 2 years ago

    I'm just hanging out in Townburg greeting adventurers.

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  • [–] 13 points 2 years ago (1 child)

    It's a trap! This is just a fantasized map of Brazil! Run for your lives before OP drags us all to Rio!

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  • [–] 12 points 2 years ago

    God this feels EXACTLY like Azeroth from World of Warcraft. But hey the dragons have some isles and eggs so I'm down for that, love me some dragons that are actually doing well in a setting

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    Exporting chainmail bikinis to the underdressed warrior women

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  • [–] 11 points 2 years ago

    I am but a humble doom miner, mining my doom.

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  • [–] 10 points 2 years ago

    I live in a humble fishing village overlooking Eisfjörd, in the vast cold reaches of Skändivikingä

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  • [+] 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 4 months ago)
    [removed by mod]
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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago

    That's still way more imaginative than anything I can do.

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  • [–] 8 points 2 years ago*

    This looks like Eurasia if you nuked the ever living fuck out of the middle east.

    Edit: Honestly this just looks like a post nuclear earth where we just kept dropping more nukes.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    Simplified eurasia? Nice idea!

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    There's no way the Ice castle of the necrolord and the mountains of muscle aren't a Fire &Ice reference

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  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago* (1 child)

    Probably, although Martin was definitely not the first fantasy author to put a villainous faction/entity in the inhospitable frozen north, nor was he the first to have a villain with a zombie army.

    Although I think the Mountains of Muscles are more likely just a border feature slapped in between the Necrolord and the ambiguous barbarians of the northern steppes, which are again a common trope but probably directly drawn from the barbarian tribes of Icewind Dale (Wulfgar's people in Forgotten Realms).

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    I'm either a cleric from the Abbey of St Whatever passing through Heroshire in my way to hunt monsters in Vampsylvania, or a spellcasting hermit of dubious sanity living in the Witchy Wood.

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  • [–] 6 points 2 years ago

    you cannot convince me that the Lost City of Erm was not a play on Um from the Discworld

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    I am but a humble traveling troubadour of Lower Noblesse. Or that is what I would have you believe. In truth, I am an information broker and spy for Steel Anne, the infamous forest bandit, and her band of Jolly Fellows from the Robbin Woods.

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  • [–] 5 points 2 years ago

    I be the Boris Johnsons in the corners blowing wind

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago

    Oh, this is lovely!

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  • [–] 4 points 2 years ago*

    I live in the Doom Mines. I mine doom.

    Honestly, it's not good for much and the economy has been trash lately, the mine has been flooding and wheat doesn't grow well here. I don't really see it getting much better any time soon.

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  • [–] 3 points 2 years ago

    I’m either one of the dragons or a resident of Wizarddidit

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    That's not fair. My wood elves are Reavers, my high elves are Nazis, and my drow are Morlocks.

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  • [–] 2 points 2 years ago

    Hold up in my room at the pub in Boozy Bay sweating out the Elvish drugs and Orc rum, living my own Heart of Darkness.

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