this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023

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What's something you used to do/see/say but don't anymore because you don't feel it's right? (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 years ago by T0rrent01@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

515 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Me personally? I've become much less tolerant of sexist humor. Back in the day, cracking a joke at women's expense was pretty common when I was a teen. As I've matured and become aware to the horrific extent of toxicity and bigotry pervading all tiers of our individualistic society, I've come to see how exclusionarly and objectifying that sort of 'humor' really is, and I regret it deeply.

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[–] jerrimu@lemmy.world 40 points 3 years ago (2 children)

I used to use “gay “ or “ retarded “ as negative adjectives, I no longer do because using someone’s being in a negative light is really mean, and I try not to be mean.

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[–] ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world 11 points 3 years ago (2 children)

"Gay" was one I never used. "Retarded" is one I don't use any more but still admittedly find kind of funny. I spent a number of years as a kid in the 80s living in New England and for me it will always be "Re-tah-ded."

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 12 points 3 years ago* (3 children)

I miss "Retarded" so much for how it was used in slang but it's pretty irredeemable as a word at this point. Nothing really replaced it as a call-out, which sucks.

Even before it was considered offensive, I generally took the Michael Scott route with the word.

I feel the same about the f-slur for gays. I'm in the LGBT + community and still miss that word too.

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[–] ManosTheHandsOfFate@lemmy.world 5 points 3 years ago

I think given enough time it could make a comeback. A few generations of people who used it to refer to the developmental disability will need to die off. Language changes and insults come and go. I'll be dead for sure, but in the meantime when something inane is happening to me I can still go back to my childhood vocab and think to myself, "This is retarded."

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[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 4 points 3 years ago (1 child)

It literally is just a substitute for idiot. There are tons of words you can use. Here's a list of 123: https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/idiot

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 8 points 3 years ago (2 children)

I am aware that it has synonyms, but it's not just a substitute for idiot. It meant a specific thing

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[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago (3 children)

It means someone has a developmental disability. But that is not how people used it. They used it to call someone an idiot, 100%. If someone did something dumb, they would retort "retard". How is that not exactly how it was/is used? Call them a bafoon, hammerhead, numskull, nincompoop, a schnook, make up a word for all I care. But to use a word that describes someone with a developmental disability should not be used as an insult. Don't complain about there not being a substitute when there's hundreds of options. You just seem to want to use it.

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 8 points 3 years ago

A person you insulted in that was being an idiot, but you used a different, harsher word for specific effect.

That's what isn't replaced. An S-tier idiot, described in one word.

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[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago* (1 child)

It's probably specific to my social circles, but in the late '00s some of my family and acquaintances started using certain vegetable and food names as synonyms for stupid person. E.g. "you carrot", "you cake". I guess this was a less openly offensive way of disparaging someone's intelligence.

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago

I like this a lot. We should spread this around.

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[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 years ago (2 children)

Is this a localised to the US thing? Here in Aus I've never heard removed being used as either an insult or linked to someone with a developmental disability. What context is it used in for a developmental disability?

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[–] Bazoogle@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago (1 child)

Did you mean to say "removed"? We're talking about the word "retard"

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[–] possum@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 years ago (2 children)

Interesting. Lemmy.ml has a filter that replaces slurs with removed, so I guess that's what @Event_Horizon@lemmy.ml saw

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[–] kazerniel@lemmy.world 4 points 3 years ago (1 child)

This illustrates really well why word filters are a terrible idea; they have no regard for the conversational context.

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[–] ZodiacSF1969@lemmy.world -1 points 3 years ago

It also illustrates what a bunch of pussies they are lol, can't handle a few mean words

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[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 years ago

Oooooooooooh shit that makes sense now hahahahahaha.

I didn't even know there was a word filter!

I'm sitting here all confused thinking "Removed" was the actual word not what is being displayed here

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[–] ZodiacSF1969@lemmy.world 1 point 3 years ago (1 child)

I'm Australian, it used to be very common. You might be too young?

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[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.ml 2 points 3 years ago

Haha nah

There's a word filter so I was only seeing "Removed" in place of the actual word. Confused the shit out of me. Now it all makes sense

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[+] rDrDr@lemmy.world 1 point 3 years ago

[deleted]

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[–] Mammal@lemmy.world 0 points 3 years ago (3 children)

Nothing really replaced it as a call-out, which sucks.

There are lots of words one can use: "Wanker", "Idiot", "Dumb-ass".

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[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world 6 points 3 years ago (1 child)

Would using the term dumb not be just as bad as retarded? Both are medical terms defining issues that people didn't choose.

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[–] ZodiacSF1969@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago

This is why this is such a stupid thing to get upset about. It's hypocritical to argue against one word and accept the other.

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 3 points 3 years ago (2 children)

Wanker is the closest in approximate meaning, but I'm not British

If you're British you'll know what I mean. Wanker isn't interchangeable with idiot 100%. There's more... Edge?

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[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 7 points 3 years ago (1 child)

Wanker isn't close to retard.

Wanker is someone that is an arsehole. Retard is someone who is an idiot.

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[–] SCB@lemmy.world 2 points 3 years ago

So what you're saying is you do agree with my point that there isn't another perfect word for it, since wanker means "asshole idiot"

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[–] Reliant1087@lemmy.world 3 points 3 years ago

But isn't using wanker as as insult sex negative?! /s

P. S. I've always wanted to say 'You bloody wanker' after seeing British television as a child but haven't had a chance so far.

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[+] rDrDr@lemmy.world 1 point 3 years ago

[deleted]

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[–] jerrimu@lemmy.world 7 points 3 years ago

I grew up in the 80s so it was just standard slang until I really thought about it.

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[–] DrPop@lemmy.one 4 points 3 years ago

I only use the term gay with my friends who are all gay. But usually only when things are so positive it's "gross". I think context matters though as with everything.

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