Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
view the rest of the comments
What a complicated question! I don't think we can really say that femininity (or masculinity) are needed to belong to any gender. And it is really hard to entangle all the social constructs that make us believe of femininity as something essential, as something inherently gendered. So I guess most of the time when people are talking about their own femininity, they mean how they feel at home in certain social roles or identities. But of course cis women also don't need any femininity to be women, nor do they need to behave a certain way. It is just that identity is based on how you view yourself in relation to how other people see you. That's why we often need to make use of these social constructs to make us feel more fitting to a certain role. Even if most strangers misgender me, I can still feel feminine and thus save my womanhood from their invalidation.
Another interesting point surely is that most transfeminine people were raised at least partly as boys. And the society constantly trying to eradicate every bit of feminine behaviour or wishes leaves a lot of transfeminine people with an open wound. I mean, even cis guys obviously suffer from this a lot because they lack the ability to connect to their own emotions or be emotionally close to others. This is a weird place for a transfeminine person to be in because you feel your own femininity but it also has been rejected, forbidden and sanctioned all of your life. This certainly needs some time to heal and I can relate to needing to reconnect with my own femininity.
That right there is the what I'm trying to get to the bottom of. So many of us talk about feeling/connecting with their femininity, etc, just like you did there, stating it an almost matter of fact way. But that's the bit I don't get. I've never felt femininity (or masculinity). I don't feel like I was denied it, because I never experienced it to even understand the concept of desiring it.
And that's the core of what I'm trying to explore. What is buried in that sentence? What does "feeling your own femininity" mean to you?
Love this conversation. And I also think it's totally a tricky one.
To me - like flora_explora, 'feeling my own feminity' is reclaiming feelings and aspects of myself that I felt denied, that wouldn't match my ascribed gender.
So maybe that really is the reason, why this phrase does not resonate with you. Nowadays I also perosnally do not think of myself as feminine or masculine and only use those descriptions when I am describing myself to others who do not know me as a shorthand not because I personally ascribe to them. So I haven't thought much about reclaiming feminity or masculinity in a while