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[–] 90 points 2 years ago (7 children)

I have said for years I do not trust that woman. She is too powerful and, honestly, I bet she has nukes.

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  • [–] 30 points 2 years ago

    "We've got a big surprise for you all today! Everyone look under your seats"

    Audience members find a leaflet and begin reading

    "We are in possession of the most destructive explosive ever devised by man. A single one of our newly developed atomic bombs is actually the equivalent in explosive power to what 2000 of our giant B-29s can carry on a single mission. This awful fact is one for you to ponder and we solemnly assure you it is grimly accurate.."

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  • [–] 20 points 2 years ago (3 children)
  • [–] 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

    Yeah, well my mate Paul met this Italian couple whilst he was backpacking and they invited him back to their room for a threesome and they gave him some LSD. When they got there the bloke one pulled a screwdriver on him and made him shit in his own shoe and eat it.

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