this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
103 points (85.5% liked)

Asklemmy

43737 readers
1500 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
[email protected]
103
Why do people keep asking where I'm from? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
114 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Up until I started working, I didn't really encounter that question. When I did start working, people started asking me that question.

Them: Where are you from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Where are your grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

Them: Ok, where are your great grandparents from?

Me: Canada.

It's irritating sometimes. I just want to exist, do my job and go home, like anyone else. Once is ok, twice is odd, three times is weird, and the fourth time is a pattern.

The only accent that I might have would probably be from Newfoundland, Canada, as I grew up with a lot of people from there. I also talk too fast sometimes.

Have you had similar experiences, and if so, how did you handle it? Can fast speech patterns cause this? Why do random people care so much?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 30 points 9 months ago (2 children)

As a mixed third generation immigrant, I get this a lot. In my experience, most people want to know my ethnicity, but for some reason they never ask me that directly.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Yeah but that’s a somewhat sensitive topic. Asking for the region of origin might mean the same thing in practice, but asking someone what "breed" they are is very inappropriate.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Because it's none of their business and it's a tad racist, and they know racism is bad but they don't want to look as bad people.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It's not racist to be interested in where somebody is from.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

It is if you assume that someone is from somewhere else because they don't look like you.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No, but it can be outright rude.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Can be, absolutely. But there is nothing inherently wrong with it. One just needs to know some tact.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 9 months ago

One just needs to know some tact.

"Just"? Tact is very infrequent in certain locations. I'd even say that common decency is.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It's not racist to ask about ethnicity.

It would be racist to ask about ethnicity and then discriminate based on the response.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We can easily assume the reason.

Specially if the person asking is from a certain countries where such a question is almost invariably racist.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

You really can’t. If I ask one of my Indian co-workers what part of India they are from, I’m not trying to figure out where they land in the caste system. Indian-Americans know this, and because of them now I know why someone would avoid volunteering that information. There’s no one size fits all reaction here. Maybe they are super well informed racists that know specific regional race/classism, but I think more often than not, westerners are asking it just like they’d ask favorite sports, foods, leisure activities and so on.